It is in the middle of the night and I miss my kids so badly I want to wake them up from their sweet dreams and hug them and kiss them and tell them I love them infinity and beyond beyond. I won't. But I want to.
It happens to me every night; a mommy's remorse. It is after they are both asleep and the house is hushed under the untidiness that was tried to be tidied a zillion times through out the day. It is when M and I are laying on the couch rightfully exhausted claiming the evening hour to ourselves, to watch a grown up's movie, to discuss some grown up matters, even argue some perhaps on some serious grown up subjects. It is then when I remember how, while I was grating the gingers for dinner, my little m was clinging to my leg wanting to be held but I kept on grating. It is then when I remember A started telling me one of his silly stories about the stupid mine crafter game he fancies so and I just said "aha" as if I were listening and now I wished I did listen. It is then when I promise myself that tomorrow I would hold m on any demand and I would listen to A attentively at all times. It is then when I remember that I said the same thing to myself the night before and today was the tomorrow of last night and tonight I am promising a better tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be a different person, God willing, enshala.
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