Time to Get Simple Again

Life was two sets of school uniforms, a bunch of books and notebooks on the bookshelf, a drawer full of cassettes, and a few poetry books and post its of favorite verses.  That was my high school.  I used to be free.  Looking into the future.  Living every day.  Seeing every leaf.  Watching each step.  Remembering the Friend.

Everything had a place in my room.  I was a free girl, laughing, crying, marveling in each friend and every friendship, chatting openly with my mother and father.  I used to enjoy the simple pleasures.  I didn't try to please anyone yet I was confident most were pleased with me.

Time to get back to it.

I feel stressed and overwhelmed.  I feel too much pressure at work especially from people; the single thing that is 100% out of my hands.  I feel the MBA coursework that I have just started is breaking my back.  I feel behind on house chores.  I feel that the thoughts of people's opinion of me have cluttered my head, darkened my brain, burdened my heart.

It is time to get simple again.

I am going to, from this moment on, stop trying to please everyone, especially at work.

Work is my game now.  I am not here to stay, I am here to learn.

I am going to enjoy the simple pleasures.

And I am going to stand tall and believe in me; same way Molly Lou Melon's grandma advised her.

Water Fruit Fingers Palm

One of the most satisfying chores while preparing for beloved guests to arrive is washing fruits and vegetables.

There is music in the background.  A mix of the familiar old songs by Ebi, Dariush, Koorosh Yaghmaii, Farhad, and the newer songs filling the air.  The sink is washed, disinfected, watered down, soap cleaned one last time and there goes the grapes, apples, carrots, sage, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers (both Persian and English, for different purposes), cauliflowers, oranges, limes, tangerines, sweet lemons, turnip, and the beautiful pomegranate.  They enter the water filled sink in groups based on the method of consumptions.  First, those whose skins will be consumed, then the ones that will be skinned but haven't touched the earth, and finally the roots.  Go in my hands at last, grabbing each single piece of vegetable or fruit, scrubbing the soaked items, feeling their skin.  Occasionally basking in their infused aroma, mixed, strong.  Their smell visible through their colors.

Now all the cleaned items are aired to dry out.  Awaiting their destiny to may be become human for a change.

Butterflies And Engines

At Kennedy Space Center we saw some butterflies.  The white winged ones flying assuredly from point to point.  I realized that butterflies are scarce compared to when I was growing up.  Oh there were butterflies everywhere and many different kinds too.

The mechanical engineer in me was fascinated by the Kennedy Space Center and all the displays of space travels.  The moon buggy, the magnificent crawlers, the humongous Vehicle Assembly Building, and the fuel tanks all brought back all the joys of designing and considering resolving unconventional problems through engineering.

I'm glad that my family is staying with me for another night leaving me behind only for two nights to attend my conference.  It was our first time to Florida and I must say I'm positively impressed.  Especially with all the joys of observing the butterflies and engines. 

Tips for Flying with Toddlers

We took A to Europe, Canada, and Middle East at ages of 14 months young,  23 months, and 30 months. Little m has travelled across the nation at age 19 month.

Per our experience the toughest time to travel with kids is during toddlerhood.  Kids are walking now, they are completely mobile and completely autonomous and heedless. What a combination to confine in the limits of an airplane seat.  Again, because we travel a lot we try to enjoy the cheaper tickets for a toddler who doesn't need a seat ticket.  This makes for a crammed seating for the family.  Yet when we experienced with it we found our toddler not wanting to sit there. The only advantage of the seat was really extra space and less possibility of unwillingly bothering a neighbor with an unruly toddler.

The key to have a pleasant trip with a toddler is preparation again, in mostly a different manner.

What is a constant is taking care of ears. Please take a look at the posting on traveling with infants and make sure to read the suggestions for protecting ears.  Similarly, make sure to have your toddler swallow on milk or toddler friendly taffies and preferable nursing during take off and landing.

If possible, consider flights that take off during late afternoon and early evening when you know your toddler is happy to sleep.  On the day of your flight, even though you will be traveling soon and might be super busy at last hours, it is highly recommended to keep your daily routines prior to departure.  If possible take your toddler to the park so he can enjoy outdoor activities before being crammed indoors. A well fed and adequately exhausted toddler is willing to sleep during his regular sleeping hours even when flying.  Chances are that the humming sound of a moving plane will help with an earlier nap and sounder sleep.

What to pack in your diaper bag:

1) bottle and milk - pacifier - if you are nursing you might want to forego nursing blanket as toddlers are big enough to strategically cover you.  In addition, they usually resist being obscured and might fight the cover.  Even if nursing consider packing a bottle or sippycup for water to keep your toddler hydrated during the flight

2) jacket or blanket - the cabin ambiance is usually colder and a jacket or blanket will help keep the toddler warm specially while sleeping

3) snacks - pack some small servings of snacks, small fruit, small sandwich, and water - consider 3 kinds of snack for every hour of flight and anticipate delays especially when you need to remain seated while cabin doors are closed and flight services haven't started. It is a rare occasion but frequent and possible enough to be prepared for

4) diapers: one for every 4 hours of flight and a couple extra - the dry cabin air might keep your toddler drier than usual

5) extra sets of cloths for every 4 hours of flight and additional ones anticipating delays. Consider layers and comfortable pants

6) toys and books: a new toy for every 30 minutes of flight. It's better not to pack the favorites lest they might drop beyond access under the seat.  If the toddler is attached to a blanket or stuffed animal make sure to have a second best and keep the most favorite safely at home.  For longer haul flight we recommend the dollar section of department stores with a variety of books and small toys.

7) medicine: after consulting with your pediatrician pack pain killers and fever reducers just in case - some pediatrician's might recommend drowsy kind of antihistamines for longer haul flights to help your toddler sleep during the flight.  Make sure to counsel the experts if you are considering such remedies

8) moisturizer - the cabin air is dry and might cause dry patches on your toddler's skin.  After consulting your pediatrician you might want to pack a travel size baby moisturizer in your diaper bag

9) disinfecting wipes: for obvious reasons

10) extra ziplock: isn't this a parent's staple item?

If you are traveling with toddlers I hope you are traveling with at least one other adults.  Toddler can be very busy and tiring.  It's hard to keep the satisfied while trapped in long haul flights.  My worst memory of traveling with kids was when I took A to Halifax from San Francisco connecting in Boston when he was 23 months young.  It was indeed tiring and stressful.  Being rested prior to the trip was the key and keeping calm while unexpected happens.  I wish you understanding and even supporting flight companions cause that can absolutely ruin a flight.   Otherwise toddlers can be a joy to fly with considering their cheerful and curious personality. Enjoy your ride!

Tips for Flying with Infants

M and I have travelled with infants as young as 3 months young.  I have travelled with 5 month young and 8 month young alone. So let us start our preparation list for traveling with infants.  Your baby is just born.  She is completely demanding.  She has left you sleep deprived and tired already and now you need to travel with her.  You feel petrified and concerned.  How?  How can you manage a tiny little baby who needs to be nursed and changed around the clock in the tight can of an airplane?  How can you burp her?  How can you change her?

Allow me to ease your concern.  Out of all the ages I have travelled with kids the easiest by far were the trips taken during my kids's infant hood.  Such a joy and breeze of flight! Believe you me ;)

By now you know and have experienced how infants love to be held, they enjoy white noise, and they take much space.  Guess what? These all are satisfied in an air travel with an infant on the lap.

If you have purchased a ticket for an infant on the lap, your baby will be held at all times and the hum of the moving plane will help putting her to sleep.  Chances are she will sleep most of the trip.  There is a caveat and that is if the baby is suffering ear ache due to changing pressures while ascending and descending.  An infant with ear ache would be a nightmare to travel with.  Worse, it might turn to an infection which would mean a travel ruined for all.

Thankfully, there is a practical solution to prevent ear ache for the infants during take off and landing: nursing/bottle feeding/pacifiers actively chewed on.  Check with your pediatrician of course but this was a pediatrician approved solution for us.  If possible, nurse/bottle feed your baby before you head to the airport so around 2-3 hours after when you are on board and the plane starts to taxi to the take off runway she is thirsty for more.  Make sure to start nursing/bottle feeding before ascending begins and continue until the plane has elevated to the intended hight.  For these reasons I think active feeding is more effective than pacifiers because you can make sure that the baby is swill owing which is the secret in preventing ear blockage due to changes in the air pressure.

Repeat the same upon landing even if it means to wake your baby up.  If you are going through the trouble of traveling with an infant chances are your trip is more than 2 hours long otherwise you would have taken a car trip.  Therefore, upon landing the baby will most probably consider another course of milk even in shorter flights.

In longer international flight make sure to call the airline and request a bulkhead seat with bassinet. The flight crew will provide you with a bassinet that will mount of the wall that divides the cabins and an extra blanket.  This can be a life saver specially if you are the only adult traveling with the infant.

What to pack for the infant:

1) nursing blanket/bottle and formula and pacifiers

2) baby's blanket - the airplane cabin is usually colder and the baby will sleep better if she is comfortably warm

3) baby moisturizer - the cabin air is very dry and chances are your baby's delicate skin will dry up.  Considering applying baby moisturizer with your pediatrician's permission will help prevent dry skin.

4) a diaper for every 3 hours of flight plus additional 2 in case of delays and unexpected changes in the scheduled trip.

5) change pad and wipes

6) extra set of cloths - we always preferred onesies - remember? We are minimalistic travellers - but make sure they are breathable and you have both thinner and thicker kinds

7) toys: I don't recommend anything for babies younger than 3-4 months. When they start paying attention to distracting noises and patterns you might want to consider a jiggling toy or two for longer haul of flights - if your infant sits already and after the age of 5 months I recommend a few small and different kinds of cheaper toys.  Make sure not to pack any toy that she is already attached to - chances are that the toy will drop and you can't find or retrieve it, you don't want to lose a favorite or expensive toy - finger puppets and hand puppets are our favored and also small thin books - you might want to consider dollor section of the department stores to pack on small and cheap and variety kinds of toys and books for every 30 minutes of your trip

8) medicine: in the rare occasion of a cold, fever, or ear infection, you want to be prepared with infant pain killer/fever reducer after consulting with your pediatrician - make sure to pack it in the diaper bag that you take on board and not in your checked in bag

9) disinfecting wipes: you might want to consider wiping your seat handle, seat tray, and the bassinet if you got one for obvious reasons

10) pacifiers and one bottle (even if you nurse) 

 

To add to the fun remember that infants don't require a seat on the plane which helps with trip economy.  So go abead, take your first trip with your infant and enjoy your ride! Just be attentive to those tiny little ears.

Tips for Air Travels with Infants, Toddlers, and Kids

At age 8 my son has visited 8 counties in 3 continents starting at 3 month young.  Then my 1.5 year young baby girl has been to 5 countries in 3 continents already, starting at age 5 month.  Needless to say as a family we love to travel.  I would go to extence to reveal that one of the major reasons for me to work is to be able to save to travel. Most of these trips have occurred while both mommy and daddy were around but some with one parent only.  Considering all the miles we have flown with kids, I consider M and I a semi pro in the subject of travelling with kids. If I may, we would like to share some tips with antsy parents taking their first trip with their infants, toddlers, or kids.

In short, the secret to a successful first trip with kids is preparation.  There are different things to consider at different ages and states.  With a bit of preparation and anticipation the trips will be comfortable and joyful for all and remember able with pleasant memories for the family.

In the upcoming posts we break it down to chapters based on kids age and provide with specific considerations.

Bare in mind and M and I are relatively easy going and minimalistic when it comes to travels.  Therefore, you can consider these tips as minimum requirements and depending on your and your child's needs and personality you can compelete and customize the preparation list. 

Last but not least, when it comes to travel with kids, and in any parenting matter in fact, follow your intuitions.  As parents you are the best judge for any situation that demands family comfort.

Now let's look at some proven methods next.

Tips for Flying with Kids

M, A, and I have traveled hundreds of thousands of airmailed only since A has turned 3.  Traveling with a kid is a joy by itself.  Kids understand the notion of travels and anticipate it.  They try to pack the night before and might feel restless and sleepless due to excitement.  They might wake up earlier than usually waking everyone up to get ready to head to the airport.

I got A a Trunkie during  a visit to the UK when they were not to be found in the U.S. yet.  You can find them pretty much in any luggage store nowadays.  They are the kind of hardshell carry on for kids that they can pack their favorite things in and carry to the cabin.  Yet they can ride in them while you haul them.   Such a delight for all!  I would still pack an umbrella stiller for younger kids especially if you will be sightseeing at destination and check in at the gate.

What to pack in your carry on bag:

1) taffy or something similar to ensure constant swallowing during take off and landing to protect those ears

2) snacks to the kid's liking. Consider small fruit and dried nuts

3) sanitizer and wipes

4) medicine: for longer haul flight having an appropriate and pediatrician approved fever reducer is a good idea, just in case

5) One extra set of clothing just in case. Consider pajamas for overnight flights and long haul flights to give your kid a sense of relaxation to stay put longer even if not sleeping

6) toothbrush and toothpaste for longer haul flights when you anticipate your kid to sleep

7) electric games: we found Leap Frog toys entertaining and educational while small enough to pack in Trunkie or carry on. Make sure to pack extra batteries. Of course smart phones with games can be another option.

8) Toys and Books to the likings of Tir kid.  We are less concerned with loosing toys with older kids but all the same, we better avoid taking a favorite on board lest it might fall under the seat beyond reach

While on board you might want to consider asking the flight attendants a visit to the cockpit. Nour wish has always gotten granted. 

Balancing Working Mom's Dilemmas

It is not because she needs me anymore.  It is because I need her.

I leave the house with a heavy heart every morning.  Not because my baby girl is tiny and helpless and needs her mommy to protect her and make her feel good about this world.  I drag my heavy heart into the car as I leave the home because I need her, her beaming smiles, her voice and broken words, her soft hands caressing my face.  I need to take advantage of this affection while there is.  I want to be with her.  It is about me.  Not solely about her.

Then I come to work and I find myself immersed in the job forgetting about my heart for a while.

Here is the secret to happiness: As long as I can do the same at home, to immerse in my family and forget about all the job-related matters, I think I can strike the balance.  Increasing the quality of presence rather than quantity.  That, I believe, is the key to a balanced life.

Book: Unaccustomed Earth

She knows emotions and relationships. She understands emigration, adoption, attachment, forgetting, unforgettables. She appreciates the struggles, the regrets, the undoables.

Jumpha Lahiri http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jhumpa_Lahiri took us to so many unaccustomed earths yet they were so familiar on occasions.  So beautifully written stories and one wishes they never ended.

Going Far

I feel scared.  I have to pull up a brave face yet I walk in and walk along feeling unsure.  I feel like paddling in dark waters.  I'm waiting for the sun to raise, to see myself on the other side of the darkness.  To have these days behind me rather than in front of me.

Then I think of all the good things.  That God will lead me as he has thus far. That I am not alone.  That my heart feels content because the strategy is thought-through and the intention is right; to support lives.  It is only a meeting after all. Unpredictable but can't go too bad.

En route to Kobe I just watched one movie: The Good Lie. It was beautiful and sad and hopeful.  Several many times it brought tears to my eyes.  I don't know why but people's distress and people's kindness melt my heart.

The story was about Sudanese refugees in early 2000.  How a group of kids became refugees, their parents killed, their siblings passed from dehydration while they walked in the desert toward the eastern border to find it dangerous and turn around and go to the opposite border and take refuge in a camp.

They made it to the USA. God bless those who help the scared and the poor!  In the civilized States they couldn't bare food wastes while back in their home people had to survive by eating just a fistful of grain that shall last for a few days.  Gosh, makes me wonder!  How wasteful are we in my house?  What to do about it?  How to help?

I hope to do something.  To donate money is satisfactory, to not close our door to those who ask for help. Yet I hope to also dedicate my time and knowledge to the poor and to the needy.  Enshala, one day.

"If you want to go fast go alone.

If you want to go far go together."

African proverb

Timely advice given all the (scary) meetings I have in front of me!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2652092/

Love Might

The sorrow that associates with longing

The longing that hurts

The pain that transforms into a smile with simple reminders

That, might be love

"Darkness may hide the trees
and the flowers from the eyes
but it cannot hide
love from the soul."
Gibran Khalil Gibran, Love Letters in the Sand: The Love Poems of Khalil Gibran

By Mosa Zamaninaser

Waiting

It is a wearing experience, waiting.  The days lengthen to unbearable seconds, the seconds drag.  The element of unknown, as to when, as to how, is the maddening feature of waiting.

It is calming that there is the possibility of it all happening.  Yet it is similarly impossible.

"The camel rider of Leili's whose throne rules the sun and the moon

Oh God!  Make his heart to choose the path to Majnoon's"
Hafez

Life and Passing

Our next door neighbor passed away this morning. We learned that from our gardener who had seen a mortuary van parked in their driveway.  Later we saw several cars parked there and I got to talk to the wife's daughter who confirmed the story.  They were an old couple and the husband, God bless his soul, was sick yet still working.  I saw him every day going to work early in the morning riding his big truck. Now I won't see him ever again.  Even though I hardly ever talked to him I feel very sad.

If it were back home you could hear people's crying from next door.  If it were back home I would take a dish full of dates for them when I would visit to convey my regards and sympathy, may be would fill each date with a peace of walnut and garnish it with dried shredded coconut.  The idea being to take some sweetness to their house, to calm the bitterness and restlessness of the time a bit. But here, after consulting public forums on the web, I decided to bake them some muffins. We signed a sympathy card for them and will stop by tomorrow enshala.

How ironic that today I bought a sympathy card along with a baby shower card.  Life goes on I suppose.

I saw a picture that jolted me yesterday too. A friend sent me a picture of his late father along side a brand new car.  The father looked really young. Carefree as my friend had put it as the caption for the photo.  The car was an older model.  The young man looking happy, accomplished.  Now he is gone.  That carefree man who was proud of his purchase of a car one day is no longer among us.  I wonder what he was thinking on the day the picture was taken.  For sure never would've paused on the thoughts going in my mind now thinking of him and his thoughts back then.  He lived a nice life it seems leaving real humans as his children.  God bless his soul!

Life is. And then it is not!

And yet tomorrow the sun will rise again and a new day will begin, Enshala.

The Treasure of the Moment

I came home early today to be with my son.  He fell sick and was sent home from school.  He is laying on the couch in a cot I've made him, watching TV.

My daughter is roaming around. Looking for the next opportunity to fall in another baby mischief entertaining me constantly.

My body is sat on the patio chair, wrapped in a jacket, sipping cinnamon tea from a Japanese mug I brought from Japan the first time I went there.

My mind however, is focused only on one thing. The treasure of the moment.

I was hanging to every word my dad was saying as I talked to him this morning knowing all the while that my dear friend is preparing for his father's funeral.  My heart ached when I called my mom last night and found her voice coarse from flu. She said her friend made her soup and I felt my heart tightening in my chest.  Why am I not there to nurse her?

Then I think again of the friend who is preparing to celebrate his father's life after his passing.

Our daffodils have bloomed.  We talked to a dear friend about our daffodils last year.  I don't see her anymore due to change of work place.  I sent her a picture of the flowers. "Thought of you".

Treasuring the life!...

Life

Life; love and nothing else.

At one point while pondering on the meaning of life, I wondered what if nobody remembered me after I pass.  I thought I needed to become somebody. Or make something. Or do something special.  In order to be remembered.

Then the other night I dreamt of my grandmother, God bless her soul!  I hugged her and I kissed her hand and then I found myself crying.  I missed her so.  I woke myself up from the sound and feel of my crying.  Then I wished I could stay calm in my sleep so I would stay in her embrace some more, even if only in the world of dreams.

My grandmother wasn't anybody except for my grandmother.

My grandmother didn't build anything special.

My grandmother didn't do anything except for kindness.

She loved me so. I know it.

I miss her and will miss her as long as I live.

That, is life!

Full Moon Grace

This is a strange world my dear!

When I read the Book, I see beauty.

When I hear the verses, I hear poetry.

When I think about him, the prophet, my heart gets warm with love and light.  I think to myself however much my dad is kind he is kinder a thousand fold.  He smiles at us.  He holds our hands.  He watches us with grace.  He has the highest soul, vast, beautiful, knowing, kind, graceful.

I know!  I know I believe.  And I know as the day is light that there are people who say that they believed yet they dirty the Earth with corruption.  Don't you see?  Just yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and ever since their sickly hearts got sicker they have been bound to bend the truth and hide the beauty.  Don't you see?  They are bound with their evils.  They think they are deceiving us.  They are deceiving themselves.  Shame on them!  Shame and grievous suffering for their persistence on lying!  They have no resemblance to that kindness, let alone any comprehension of him.  They hide their lies behind his name.  Shame on them!

Yet today, or five days ago, and who cares, he was born, the prophet.  He was born to bring us joy through the love of Hu.

Peace to you!  Love to you!  Salaam to you!

Huuuuuuuuu

!دنياى غريبيست نازنين

.من در كتاب فقط زيبايى ميبينم و در تلاوتش شعر.

وقتى به حضرتش فكر ميكنم قلبم گرم ميشود از عشقش و روشن ميشود از نورش. فكر ميكنم اگر پدر مهربان است او هزاران هزار بار مهربانتر است.  به نگاه پر مهرش ميانديشم. به دستان گرمش. به چشمان آرامش.  به لبخندش.

روح بزرگى داشت كه به معراجش برد.  او بزرگست و آسمانى.  و نيم نگاهى هم به لعبتهاى بچگانه نادانان ندارد.

من ميدانم. و إيمان دارم كه هستند مفسدانى كه به اسم دين فساد ميكنند و فكر ميكنند ما را به مسخره گرفته اند. نميبينى؟ ديروز چه شد؟ و پريروز و همه روزهايى كه بوى گند قلب مريضشان حالمان را دگرگون كرد؟ ادعايشان مصلحت است وليك دستشان حلقه به پليديست.  آنها هيچ دركى از سخاوتش ندارند حتى اگر نامش را به زبان مياورند.  شرمشان باد اين نام!  شرمشان باد اين زمين! شرمشان باد اين نفس!!  

و اما امروز سالروز تولدش است. شايد هم پنج روز پيش بود. چه تفاوتى؟. آمد تا زيبايى عشق را به ما نثار كند.

!صلح بر شما

!عشق بر شما

!سلام بر شما

Darkness

It seemed pretty dark outside, and inside.  She looked around and couldn't see a thing. Nothing.  Not a shape was recognizable, not a glimpse of light visible.  It was complete darkness.

She opened her arms in search of a thing and reached deep into the emptiness that surrounded her.  Stretching her arms in front of her she began walking, taking cautious steps, trying to see with her arms and feet.  Trying to find a familiar ground, a soothing sight, anything that was recognizable.

Emptiness.

Useless.

She couldn't sense the time.  She had been walking for a while now yet had no idea how long, how far, how deep.

She had no appetite even though she knew her body was drained from any food or liquid.

She started thinking and yet found darkness.  She found that memories were faded in her brain and in her heart.  Hardly any memory of a face, of a voice, of a scene, of a touch.

She paused.  She brought near her extended arms.  Then she started touching herself.  Her body, her face, her hair, her legs, her feet.  She was.  But that was all that there was.  Otherwise, nothing.

Best of 2015 So Far

From my surgeon customer/colleague in Italy just now:

"All the best to you and your family hoping a great 2015....it will

I'm sure"

I needed this certainty... I hope so and wish all the same!

The Universe Deals

The Universe chose many things for us beyond our control, unwanted, unwelcome.  When the time gets rough it is unfair to anticipate a lowly human being to deal with it.  The Universe is fair.  Therefore, the Universe won't anticipate the human being to deal with the Universe-sent matters all by herself.  Instead, God will resolve the matter enshala.

No Resolution New Year

I desperately feel scared of and overwhelmed by this new year.

I am used to writing my goals.  It has been a habit, for as long as I kept a diary, to write my goals for the Perisan new year and on my birthday.  Then in the past 15 years also at western new year.

Per the usual habit I reviewed my goals for 2014 last night.  Thank God found many met.  Then started writing my new goals and I found none!

How strange I feel not having any new resolution for this year!!  Am I lost in the daily life?  Have I lost all ambitions?  Are there no more dreams?  How utterly sad I feel!

In fact I feel trapped deep inside...

I just hope that this is a phase...

Happy New Year!