Old Year

Stay, old year, stay. I just feel not ready for the new year. Tomorrow will come and nothing expected to be different. There used to be a new sort of excitement in the new year. There used to be hope, newness. There used to be new adventures awaiting.

I must remain grateful. 

Dream Softly

The sun is setting on the farms. The ocean still blue visible at far distance.  She closes her eyes to dream. There he is. 

He smiles brighter than the setting rays of sun. He gives her a gentle hug.  The smell of his clone hits her suddenly, revitalizing fading memories.

The restaurant light is dim. Blues playing in the background.  She feels hungry but afraid of eating lest time spent eating takes away the counted moments.

He orders two Zinfandels, then turns to her with a dashing smile. She smiles back. Happy.

They walk past a creamer but then return to share a cup of ice cream. His is Vanilla Bean.

He lifts up her hat. His face so close it stops her breathe for a moment. He leans down and his lips touch hers. She shivers ever so slightly. She moans softly. His palm on her back pushes her to his chest. Her every cell awakened with lust. Her breathe deepened.  His lips taste like  wine and clone.

He bursts in a manly laughter. Overjoyed with her spicy remarks.  She smiles.

Tasting her tears on her lips.

Readers And Writers

The writer writes to be read. The reader is the muse. The writer is in love with the reader. With no reader there's hardly any muse, any motivation.  The writer and the reader are to be. 

Blue

As the sun is shining

And the snow is melting

I think about the ocean

Vast

Blue

Endless

Let's build a boat

And sail away

Decisions and Faiths

She pushes the half closed door and walks into the house. It is dark and cold inside. She puts on the fire and turns on the lights. It's utterly quiet and still. Suddenly the kids run in and a loud cacophony of sound and noises trail behind them. Yet the house is still utterly quiet and still. Then the man walks in.  Silence.

The house is still quiet and still.

Merry Christmas

May the beauty in Christ and Mary and all the beautiful souls of the world light our path and guide us to peace and love!

Travel Notes

Took it lazy this afternoon. Watched some movie while peeking through the window at falling snow. How grateful I feel for this snow! Thank you Mother Nature!

Headed out just as the sun was setting to lounge in the lobby and having pop corns during the happy hour after which we headed out for good. Promenade in the snow for 1.5 hours. It was freezing but I felt happy. It was beautiful! Everything. Sky. Earth. People. Lights. Colors. We ended up at our favorite pizzeria after making a snowman and warming up in front of the fire pits at the sidewalk.

I wish I could go to a church tonight. Sit at the back and watch a traditional mass ceremony. I feel like praying.

...

Amen!

Should I Say or Should I Not

Decided to dare and call a hair salon in Tahoe where we are staying right now and request for an appointment for a new hair color style. They said not possible but then called again and here I am. They are very kind, offered me tea as I stepped in covered in snow.  Now here I sit with my hair smeared in die.

The hairstylist, Kelly, and I were chit chatting earlier when she noted that her kids' father was from Mexico and that she chose a language immersion school for her kids rather than the alternatives with math focus or art focus. She was to make sure her kids remembered where they were from. She noted "culture" was what was important to be taught.  She followed by boasting that her second grader was fluent in Spanish now. "How lovely" I exclaimed. I wanted to say my kids were bi lingual too and immersed in two cultures but I bit my tongue. I felt unprepared for any remark that would come after. But she is kind. And she may be pleased to meet an Iranian-Canadian.  Should I tell her or should I not?

...

So I did. And she was still sweet and lovely. She said they had a couple Iranian friends who were teaching them the culture. Humans are beautiful. And so is my new hair :)

Merry Christmas!

Simple Pleasures

Wool Cloths
Turtlenecks
Tights and Leggings
Hood
Gloves
Tall Boots
Oh, and my brand new Wool Hat
Now it is time to bring the Safari Duffle Bag and pour everything inside, save the wool hat.  I look forward to walking in the Village and peeking into art galleries.  May be in a year or two we can watch a movie in the Village Theater again when the little (naughty) princess is up for it too.  Long lines to the favorite pizzeria awaits.
I like winter attires. I have always been in love with boots and hoods and scarves and turtlenecks.  Toronto served me well, perhaps too well with -30 degree Celsius wind chills.  And Tahoe is the right mix of cold and snow and warmth of not too thick cloths allowing a leisurely walk in the snow.
Tahoe! Here we come!
God be with all travelers!

Still Not Over

I was hoping to finish the year staying at work late two nights in a row. At last left with most accomplished but not all. I didn't come home saying "here I come and my vacation too". I will work tomorrow for a few hours.

We decided to go to Tahoe tonight. So we are. Last minute deal that did pan out. Looking forward to it now. To take my new book too. "Beautiful Ruins". A romantic novel with a male author. I enjoy literally beautiful romantic novels and differently so if the author is male than female. I want to read it while sitting on a patio chair looking out to the mountains and sipping my freshly brewed coffee. And think about all who will not be with us at the turn of the Roman year. Life. Moments. Separation. Love. Missing. Dying. That's all. 

Let Love and Peace

For centuries we have been living together. For centuries there has been mosques and temples and synagogue and churches in our streets. For centuries people of different sects and beliefs and origins walked on these streets wearing their distinct attires.

For years I witnessed it myself. For years I've seen Christmas decorations alongside black of Ashura in the store decorations. For years I have seen Kurds and Ghasghaiis wearing their colorful dresses and cloths walking by. For years I have walked by a senagague and church and mosque in one afternoon.

This acceptance, this living in peace and harmony alongside each other, this embracing similarities in humanity, is rooted in our being. Despite wars. Despite invasions. Despite rulers and politics and governments. For centuries.

Now, do not fear the fleeting times of governments and politicians.  They come and go and they do anything for a few years in power, a few years that you can count on the fingers of one hand. The century old harmony and love and peace will last after all.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Yalda!

Happy Hanukah!

Merry Christmas!

Happy Rabi' Avval!

Let peace!

Let Love!

A New American Life

Sitting lazily on the sofa with the kids watching the recorded Its A Wonderful Life, the door bell rang around 7PM. Our bell seldom rings. I peaked out through the windows and recognized many people approaching our door still. Carolers I thought. The little angle and I went to open the door and there were a dozen kids in age range of 5-10 singing Rudolf the Red Nose Raindeer. Made me smile with joy. Little m was watching in disbelief. I looked over the tired parents in the back and the excited kids in the front thinking what I should do when it all ended, feeling completely ignorant with this tradition. When it was over I thanked them and wished them a Merry Christmas. Then asked one of the dads who was closest to the door that I had no idea what I should do next. He said nothing and I offered candy but he said the kids had plenty already. We wished each other happy wishes and they left and I came inside completely cheered. Feeling unsettled about what was expected of me though I consulted Google "what should I do when carolers come to the door?"  The answer was 'nothing but smile and happy wishes'. I felt relief in addition to cheered.

Merry Christmas you all!

Fear

A promise

A promotion

A new boss

Unknown directions

Unknown skills

A new year

I fear the unknown.

But I'm doing well. And to continue doing well, to be empowered to do so, to continue adding value and feel valued matters. That's my focus. I choose trust. 

Growing Old Together

The couple beside me have spoken less than a dozen words in the past 7 hours of flight, the guy was responsible for only a couple of those occasions. They are older. Obviously were in U.S. visiting their kids in California and now headed back home. The lady seems bored and perhaps slightly in pain because she occasionally rubs her knee.

I wonder how. I wonder when.

Perhaps they were never of talking kinds.

And I wonder if we are.

I have been thinking about us. How I long for a trip were we feel inspired and have the time and focus to talk about the inspirations.  Somewhere far. Different. New.

I wonder if you would listen. I wonder if you would chime in with your own ideas and muses and dreams. I wonder if we can build something together.

I'm still not done loving.

A New Day

A new birthday! Oh God! Thank you!

And all the friends and all the rain and all the wishes come true!

God! You are! Thank you!