Love Might

The sorrow that associates with longing

The longing that hurts

The pain that transforms into a smile with simple reminders

That, might be love

"Darkness may hide the trees
and the flowers from the eyes
but it cannot hide
love from the soul."
Gibran Khalil Gibran, Love Letters in the Sand: The Love Poems of Khalil Gibran

By Mosa Zamaninaser

Waiting

It is a wearing experience, waiting.  The days lengthen to unbearable seconds, the seconds drag.  The element of unknown, as to when, as to how, is the maddening feature of waiting.

It is calming that there is the possibility of it all happening.  Yet it is similarly impossible.

"The camel rider of Leili's whose throne rules the sun and the moon

Oh God!  Make his heart to choose the path to Majnoon's"
Hafez

Life and Passing

Our next door neighbor passed away this morning. We learned that from our gardener who had seen a mortuary van parked in their driveway.  Later we saw several cars parked there and I got to talk to the wife's daughter who confirmed the story.  They were an old couple and the husband, God bless his soul, was sick yet still working.  I saw him every day going to work early in the morning riding his big truck. Now I won't see him ever again.  Even though I hardly ever talked to him I feel very sad.

If it were back home you could hear people's crying from next door.  If it were back home I would take a dish full of dates for them when I would visit to convey my regards and sympathy, may be would fill each date with a peace of walnut and garnish it with dried shredded coconut.  The idea being to take some sweetness to their house, to calm the bitterness and restlessness of the time a bit. But here, after consulting public forums on the web, I decided to bake them some muffins. We signed a sympathy card for them and will stop by tomorrow enshala.

How ironic that today I bought a sympathy card along with a baby shower card.  Life goes on I suppose.

I saw a picture that jolted me yesterday too. A friend sent me a picture of his late father along side a brand new car.  The father looked really young. Carefree as my friend had put it as the caption for the photo.  The car was an older model.  The young man looking happy, accomplished.  Now he is gone.  That carefree man who was proud of his purchase of a car one day is no longer among us.  I wonder what he was thinking on the day the picture was taken.  For sure never would've paused on the thoughts going in my mind now thinking of him and his thoughts back then.  He lived a nice life it seems leaving real humans as his children.  God bless his soul!

Life is. And then it is not!

And yet tomorrow the sun will rise again and a new day will begin, Enshala.

The Treasure of the Moment

I came home early today to be with my son.  He fell sick and was sent home from school.  He is laying on the couch in a cot I've made him, watching TV.

My daughter is roaming around. Looking for the next opportunity to fall in another baby mischief entertaining me constantly.

My body is sat on the patio chair, wrapped in a jacket, sipping cinnamon tea from a Japanese mug I brought from Japan the first time I went there.

My mind however, is focused only on one thing. The treasure of the moment.

I was hanging to every word my dad was saying as I talked to him this morning knowing all the while that my dear friend is preparing for his father's funeral.  My heart ached when I called my mom last night and found her voice coarse from flu. She said her friend made her soup and I felt my heart tightening in my chest.  Why am I not there to nurse her?

Then I think again of the friend who is preparing to celebrate his father's life after his passing.

Our daffodils have bloomed.  We talked to a dear friend about our daffodils last year.  I don't see her anymore due to change of work place.  I sent her a picture of the flowers. "Thought of you".

Treasuring the life!...

Life

Life; love and nothing else.

At one point while pondering on the meaning of life, I wondered what if nobody remembered me after I pass.  I thought I needed to become somebody. Or make something. Or do something special.  In order to be remembered.

Then the other night I dreamt of my grandmother, God bless her soul!  I hugged her and I kissed her hand and then I found myself crying.  I missed her so.  I woke myself up from the sound and feel of my crying.  Then I wished I could stay calm in my sleep so I would stay in her embrace some more, even if only in the world of dreams.

My grandmother wasn't anybody except for my grandmother.

My grandmother didn't build anything special.

My grandmother didn't do anything except for kindness.

She loved me so. I know it.

I miss her and will miss her as long as I live.

That, is life!

Full Moon Grace

This is a strange world my dear!

When I read the Book, I see beauty.

When I hear the verses, I hear poetry.

When I think about him, the prophet, my heart gets warm with love and light.  I think to myself however much my dad is kind he is kinder a thousand fold.  He smiles at us.  He holds our hands.  He watches us with grace.  He has the highest soul, vast, beautiful, knowing, kind, graceful.

I know!  I know I believe.  And I know as the day is light that there are people who say that they believed yet they dirty the Earth with corruption.  Don't you see?  Just yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and ever since their sickly hearts got sicker they have been bound to bend the truth and hide the beauty.  Don't you see?  They are bound with their evils.  They think they are deceiving us.  They are deceiving themselves.  Shame on them!  Shame and grievous suffering for their persistence on lying!  They have no resemblance to that kindness, let alone any comprehension of him.  They hide their lies behind his name.  Shame on them!

Yet today, or five days ago, and who cares, he was born, the prophet.  He was born to bring us joy through the love of Hu.

Peace to you!  Love to you!  Salaam to you!

Huuuuuuuuu

!دنياى غريبيست نازنين

.من در كتاب فقط زيبايى ميبينم و در تلاوتش شعر.

وقتى به حضرتش فكر ميكنم قلبم گرم ميشود از عشقش و روشن ميشود از نورش. فكر ميكنم اگر پدر مهربان است او هزاران هزار بار مهربانتر است.  به نگاه پر مهرش ميانديشم. به دستان گرمش. به چشمان آرامش.  به لبخندش.

روح بزرگى داشت كه به معراجش برد.  او بزرگست و آسمانى.  و نيم نگاهى هم به لعبتهاى بچگانه نادانان ندارد.

من ميدانم. و إيمان دارم كه هستند مفسدانى كه به اسم دين فساد ميكنند و فكر ميكنند ما را به مسخره گرفته اند. نميبينى؟ ديروز چه شد؟ و پريروز و همه روزهايى كه بوى گند قلب مريضشان حالمان را دگرگون كرد؟ ادعايشان مصلحت است وليك دستشان حلقه به پليديست.  آنها هيچ دركى از سخاوتش ندارند حتى اگر نامش را به زبان مياورند.  شرمشان باد اين نام!  شرمشان باد اين زمين! شرمشان باد اين نفس!!  

و اما امروز سالروز تولدش است. شايد هم پنج روز پيش بود. چه تفاوتى؟. آمد تا زيبايى عشق را به ما نثار كند.

!صلح بر شما

!عشق بر شما

!سلام بر شما

Darkness

It seemed pretty dark outside, and inside.  She looked around and couldn't see a thing. Nothing.  Not a shape was recognizable, not a glimpse of light visible.  It was complete darkness.

She opened her arms in search of a thing and reached deep into the emptiness that surrounded her.  Stretching her arms in front of her she began walking, taking cautious steps, trying to see with her arms and feet.  Trying to find a familiar ground, a soothing sight, anything that was recognizable.

Emptiness.

Useless.

She couldn't sense the time.  She had been walking for a while now yet had no idea how long, how far, how deep.

She had no appetite even though she knew her body was drained from any food or liquid.

She started thinking and yet found darkness.  She found that memories were faded in her brain and in her heart.  Hardly any memory of a face, of a voice, of a scene, of a touch.

She paused.  She brought near her extended arms.  Then she started touching herself.  Her body, her face, her hair, her legs, her feet.  She was.  But that was all that there was.  Otherwise, nothing.

Best of 2015 So Far

From my surgeon customer/colleague in Italy just now:

"All the best to you and your family hoping a great 2015....it will

I'm sure"

I needed this certainty... I hope so and wish all the same!

The Universe Deals

The Universe chose many things for us beyond our control, unwanted, unwelcome.  When the time gets rough it is unfair to anticipate a lowly human being to deal with it.  The Universe is fair.  Therefore, the Universe won't anticipate the human being to deal with the Universe-sent matters all by herself.  Instead, God will resolve the matter enshala.

No Resolution New Year

I desperately feel scared of and overwhelmed by this new year.

I am used to writing my goals.  It has been a habit, for as long as I kept a diary, to write my goals for the Perisan new year and on my birthday.  Then in the past 15 years also at western new year.

Per the usual habit I reviewed my goals for 2014 last night.  Thank God found many met.  Then started writing my new goals and I found none!

How strange I feel not having any new resolution for this year!!  Am I lost in the daily life?  Have I lost all ambitions?  Are there no more dreams?  How utterly sad I feel!

In fact I feel trapped deep inside...

I just hope that this is a phase...

Happy New Year!