There is love flowing around me. I have been among lovers, friends, crushers, and lovers, again. I enjoy it. I like the tone change when they talk, the glow in their face, the way they sound when the name of their lovers come to their lips. This is really joyful.
And I have been reading "the power of now" thanks to VM. He re-introduced the book to me and I bought it, the audio version of it. I love it, more than that I need it.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
love and imagination
1) We were at relatives' place on Saturday. In the evening I carried A to the backyard to show him the night sky, the moon, and the tall trees shadowing on the yard. He spotted a tree with pink flowers: "Wow! flowers, they are pink, they are beautiful, they're like mommy"! Since then every time he sees a pink flower he states the same observation "wow, gol, sooratie, ghashange, mesle maamaane"!
2) The other night I bent over his highchair to pull him out. He grabbed my neck in a hug pushing his chick to mine saying: "you are my love!" or actually " to eshghe mani!"!
3) Last night he was playing with his blanket on the floor bundling it this side and that side, then he claimed " I made a deer"!!! Then he changed the configurations claiming: " I made a chicken". All we could see was an untidy blanket... Remember the Boa who had swallowed an elephant and all that the grown ups could see was a hat in "The Little Prince"?
2) The other night I bent over his highchair to pull him out. He grabbed my neck in a hug pushing his chick to mine saying: "you are my love!" or actually " to eshghe mani!"!
3) Last night he was playing with his blanket on the floor bundling it this side and that side, then he claimed " I made a deer"!!! Then he changed the configurations claiming: " I made a chicken". All we could see was an untidy blanket... Remember the Boa who had swallowed an elephant and all that the grown ups could see was a hat in "The Little Prince"?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
قدیمی
آرام بگیر فرزندم، آرام ...
زندگی در دستان توست
باران می بارد
و تن خسته و غمبارت را می شورد
و غمهایت را نثار بیکران زمین می کند
نه اینکه زمین هست؟
نه اینکه آب هست؟
پریشانی چرا؟
صبح می شود
طلوع، نور، روشنایی، ببین
نه اینکه شب خواهد شد
شب خواهد آمد
تاریک، غریب، آرام، قریب
صبر کن، همین امشب صبر کن
نه اینکه روز خواهد شد؟
چرا اشک نمیریزی که آرامت کنم؟
نه اینکه من هستم؟
زنده شو ...
دیرگاهیست که مرده ای
زنده ات کرده ام
دستت را باز کن
زندگی از دانه دانه انگشتانت به زمینی میریزد که گاهواره ات کرده ام
آرام بگیر فرزندم
زندگی امروز در دستان توست
نسیم نیمه شب
زندگی در دستان توست
باران می بارد
و تن خسته و غمبارت را می شورد
و غمهایت را نثار بیکران زمین می کند
نه اینکه زمین هست؟
نه اینکه آب هست؟
پریشانی چرا؟
صبح می شود
طلوع، نور، روشنایی، ببین
نه اینکه شب خواهد شد
شب خواهد آمد
تاریک، غریب، آرام، قریب
صبر کن، همین امشب صبر کن
نه اینکه روز خواهد شد؟
چرا اشک نمیریزی که آرامت کنم؟
نه اینکه من هستم؟
زنده شو ...
دیرگاهیست که مرده ای
زنده ات کرده ام
دستت را باز کن
زندگی از دانه دانه انگشتانت به زمینی میریزد که گاهواره ات کرده ام
آرام بگیر فرزندم
زندگی امروز در دستان توست
نسیم نیمه شب
Friday, August 8, 2008
to infinity and beyond
Arman was lying on the ground. Then suddenly he sprung off the floor, went to the wall and put his palms on the wall: "let's go up" -"up where momy?!" -"Let's go to the sealing" -"!!!! you want to go to the sealing?!" -"Let's climb the wall to get to the sealing" -"Sure, you go ahead and try, but it is gonna be difficult"...
I think, as much as I am capable of interpreting my A's thoughts, that he had been observing the fact that a room has six sides and we only use one, so he wanted to make sure he would use the rest of the space.
I used to walk while my head was tilted all the way to the back and my gaze was at the sealing when I was a child, to experience how it could have been if we were to walk on the sealing, what obstacles were there and so on and so forth. But I was totally amuzed by A's willingness to walk the wall to reach the sealing and really walk the sealing!
I think, as much as I am capable of interpreting my A's thoughts, that he had been observing the fact that a room has six sides and we only use one, so he wanted to make sure he would use the rest of the space.
I used to walk while my head was tilted all the way to the back and my gaze was at the sealing when I was a child, to experience how it could have been if we were to walk on the sealing, what obstacles were there and so on and so forth. But I was totally amuzed by A's willingness to walk the wall to reach the sealing and really walk the sealing!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Eid
Happy Eid!
Suddenly things are back in place in my mind. I have been debating on so many things all of which were dependent on some other things in my life. So it was almost impossible to decide on them all at once. Then during the past holy week a decision some one else made indirectly limited my options and since then I have been thinking more clearly. This partial clarity in my mind was very much required. Last night I made a decision on another subject which yet again made me see my path even more transparent. Of course nothing is definite and this fact is another relief by itself; I am flexible enough to change path. After all these, looking at my desired destination, I convey my boat to the waves of life and will trust God to put me to a calm coast, may be even to the ultimate destiny if S/He mays.
Suddenly things are back in place in my mind. I have been debating on so many things all of which were dependent on some other things in my life. So it was almost impossible to decide on them all at once. Then during the past holy week a decision some one else made indirectly limited my options and since then I have been thinking more clearly. This partial clarity in my mind was very much required. Last night I made a decision on another subject which yet again made me see my path even more transparent. Of course nothing is definite and this fact is another relief by itself; I am flexible enough to change path. After all these, looking at my desired destination, I convey my boat to the waves of life and will trust God to put me to a calm coast, may be even to the ultimate destiny if S/He mays.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Old me
My old self used to write poems. I used to not call them poems though.
I remember some of them. I wrote a couple new ones here, in my blog, when I was my newer version of my old self. So it is not totally an old habit to write.
Then today, I received an e-mail from a dear friend in my heart with one of my old poems in it; I read it in awe.
a few months ago I was reading Ignorance, a novel by Milan Kundera, which was a gift from the same uniquely great friend. There is a few chapters in the book describing Josef reading his diary from his teenage hood. He is more than 40 years at the time. I cannot tell that I had the same feeling as was explained in the book towards this poem, or when I read my old diaries. But at the same time there is some thing that drives me towards this part of the book:
"Josef tries to understand the virgin boy, to put himself in his skin, but he is not capable of it. That sentimentality mixed with sadism, that whole business is completely contrary to his tastes and to his nature. He tears a blank page out of the diary, picks up a pencil, and copies out the sentence "I wallowed in her sadness". He contemplates the two hand writings for a long time: the one from long ago is a little clumsy, but the letters are the same as today's. The resemblance is upsetting, it irritates him, it shocks him. How can two such alien, such opposite beings have same handwriting? What common essence is it that makes a single person of him and this little snot?" Ignorance: A Novel; Page 83
I remember some of them. I wrote a couple new ones here, in my blog, when I was my newer version of my old self. So it is not totally an old habit to write.
Then today, I received an e-mail from a dear friend in my heart with one of my old poems in it; I read it in awe.
a few months ago I was reading Ignorance, a novel by Milan Kundera, which was a gift from the same uniquely great friend. There is a few chapters in the book describing Josef reading his diary from his teenage hood. He is more than 40 years at the time. I cannot tell that I had the same feeling as was explained in the book towards this poem, or when I read my old diaries. But at the same time there is some thing that drives me towards this part of the book:
"Josef tries to understand the virgin boy, to put himself in his skin, but he is not capable of it. That sentimentality mixed with sadism, that whole business is completely contrary to his tastes and to his nature. He tears a blank page out of the diary, picks up a pencil, and copies out the sentence "I wallowed in her sadness". He contemplates the two hand writings for a long time: the one from long ago is a little clumsy, but the letters are the same as today's. The resemblance is upsetting, it irritates him, it shocks him. How can two such alien, such opposite beings have same handwriting? What common essence is it that makes a single person of him and this little snot?" Ignorance: A Novel; Page 83
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The cottage
I need a vacation. Need to travel. I need a cottage far away from civilization for a couple of days. The cottage is by a lake and there is a tall mountain not far from the lake which reflects on it. There are trees all around the cottage. Birds chirp on the tree branches and chipmunks run here and there as quick as they are. I spot a deer drinking water from the lake now and then.
There is a bench by the lake, close to the cottage. I sit there most of the day, and night. The moon is full these nights and I don't need a lamp to take me to the bench or lead me back home from there. I sit there before sunset. I write a few lines in my note book. I enjoy writing. Then I read a few pages of my books. I could not pick only one to take with me in this journey. I have five books with me but I take two to the bench before I leave the cottage every time. Watching the sun disappearing behind the mountain I read The Book, and then I pray. There are tears in my eyes and I am happy in my heart.
I go back there around midnight. I love the peace and quiet. There is the lake reflecting the moonlight, and there is every thing reflecting the God's light. This light is not visible all the time but here I can see it clearly.
The sun rises behind the cottage. I detect all the wrinkles on the mountain. How I adore this mountain. There is no desire in me to climb it. I need it to feel tall and be tall and I need me to be tiny in front of it.
The day is here. I have all day to walk, to read, to swim in the blue lake, and to write, to pray.
Around the afternoon I make my last cup of tea and sit on my bench.
They are coming to pick me up. Time to go back to civilization.
There is a bench by the lake, close to the cottage. I sit there most of the day, and night. The moon is full these nights and I don't need a lamp to take me to the bench or lead me back home from there. I sit there before sunset. I write a few lines in my note book. I enjoy writing. Then I read a few pages of my books. I could not pick only one to take with me in this journey. I have five books with me but I take two to the bench before I leave the cottage every time. Watching the sun disappearing behind the mountain I read The Book, and then I pray. There are tears in my eyes and I am happy in my heart.
I go back there around midnight. I love the peace and quiet. There is the lake reflecting the moonlight, and there is every thing reflecting the God's light. This light is not visible all the time but here I can see it clearly.
The sun rises behind the cottage. I detect all the wrinkles on the mountain. How I adore this mountain. There is no desire in me to climb it. I need it to feel tall and be tall and I need me to be tiny in front of it.
The day is here. I have all day to walk, to read, to swim in the blue lake, and to write, to pray.
Around the afternoon I make my last cup of tea and sit on my bench.
They are coming to pick me up. Time to go back to civilization.
Monday, July 21, 2008
These days
I have been missing writing in my blog...
We have guests over for about 10 days now whom will stay for about two months. It has been fun and super busy. I lack some sleep both because of later sleeping times lately and also because of Arman's frequent cries at nights this past week. I am not a coffee drinker and yet I made myself a cup just now at work to artificially wake myself up.
Work is good. Dealing with people makes me learn more about myself. I admit that I don't approve of this self very often lately. There was an era that I was proud of my communication skills, especially back at high school and university. Besides my self esteem and negotiation skills I maintained I had a hidden sort of luck. The opportunities to convey a message just flew to me and it seemed really easy. However, this is no ,ore the case these days. I need to think, and seize opportunities, and rethink and revisit the conversations after the fact. This is amusing though. I am learning that it is not required or even acceptable to be nice all the time.
Arman is brightly growing up. His Persian is awesomely sweet. He is very keen about his sorrounding. I adore him adoring different colors or new cloths on me or spotting the moon in the sky while it is still light. He sings and while we enjoy it he seems enjoying himself too. This is adorable!
We have guests over for about 10 days now whom will stay for about two months. It has been fun and super busy. I lack some sleep both because of later sleeping times lately and also because of Arman's frequent cries at nights this past week. I am not a coffee drinker and yet I made myself a cup just now at work to artificially wake myself up.
Work is good. Dealing with people makes me learn more about myself. I admit that I don't approve of this self very often lately. There was an era that I was proud of my communication skills, especially back at high school and university. Besides my self esteem and negotiation skills I maintained I had a hidden sort of luck. The opportunities to convey a message just flew to me and it seemed really easy. However, this is no ,ore the case these days. I need to think, and seize opportunities, and rethink and revisit the conversations after the fact. This is amusing though. I am learning that it is not required or even acceptable to be nice all the time.
Arman is brightly growing up. His Persian is awesomely sweet. He is very keen about his sorrounding. I adore him adoring different colors or new cloths on me or spotting the moon in the sky while it is still light. He sings and while we enjoy it he seems enjoying himself too. This is adorable!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
نمیدونی وقتی چشمات پر خوابه به چه رنگه
نمیدونی
با صدای عبدالعلی وزیری
آهنگساز: علینقی وزیری
نوازنده تار عبدالعلی وزیری
شعر: هما میرافشار
دستگاه: دشتی
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
وقتی چشمات پر خوابه،
به چه رنگه، به چه حاله
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
چه عمیقه، چه سخنگو
مثل اشعار مسیحایی حافظ
یه کتابه یه کتابه
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
که چه رنگه، چه قشنگه
رنگ آفتاب بهاره
مثل یک جام بلوره
شایدم چشمه‌ی نوره
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی که دل من
توی اون چشمای شوخت
روی اون برکه‌ی آروم
یه حبابه یه حبابه
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی و به جز من
دگری هم نمی‌دونه
که یه دنیا توی اون چشم سیاهه
هرکی گفته، هرکی می‌گه
همه حرفه تو رو می‌خواد بفریبه
جز دل من که پر از عشق و جنونه
حرف اون چشم سیاهو
دل دیگه نمی‌دونه
چشم دیگه نمی‌خونه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
وقتی چشمات پر خوابه
به چه رنگه، به چه حاله
مثل یک جام شراب
با صدای عبدالعلی وزیری
آهنگساز: علینقی وزیری
نوازنده تار عبدالعلی وزیری
شعر: هما میرافشار
دستگاه: دشتی
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
وقتی چشمات پر خوابه،
به چه رنگه، به چه حاله
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
چه عمیقه، چه سخنگو
مثل اشعار مسیحایی حافظ
یه کتابه یه کتابه
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
که چه رنگه، چه قشنگه
رنگ آفتاب بهاره
مثل یک جام بلوره
شایدم چشمه‌ی نوره
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی که دل من
توی اون چشمای شوخت
روی اون برکه‌ی آروم
یه حبابه یه حبابه
مثل یک جام شرابه
نمیدونی و به جز من
دگری هم نمی‌دونه
که یه دنیا توی اون چشم سیاهه
هرکی گفته، هرکی می‌گه
همه حرفه تو رو می‌خواد بفریبه
جز دل من که پر از عشق و جنونه
حرف اون چشم سیاهو
دل دیگه نمی‌دونه
چشم دیگه نمی‌خونه
نمیدونی، نمیدونی
وقتی چشمات پر خوابه
به چه رنگه، به چه حاله
مثل یک جام شراب
Friday, May 23, 2008
Fire
Yesterday morning I heard in the 7 O'clock news in the morning that the woods in Santa Cruz mountain were on fire. I was driving to work towards north and at the spot I faced south on my journey I saw the thick smoke above those mountains far in the south. I felt deeply sorry. Later that day, on the way back from work I was heading south all the way and spotted the smoke again, this time a huge cloud of smoke above the mountain, yet further south.
Arman woke up early this morning, he usually does. Like the day before the first thing he asked for was Scarloui, his new found train. He loves train. And his favorite show is Thomas the Tank Engine. He watched me getting ready and then he stood by me and bowed and rose in prayer. Later, when I was shining my shoes preparing to leave he asked if I would tune the TV to the Thomas show, I accepted I would. I suggested him to grab Scarloui and watch the show with him. He flew to his room to bring it shouting "Merci maami" happily. He calls me "maami" when he is totally pleased or in his playful mode, and I adore it.
I turned on the TV. There was news on the last channel we watched last night. It was about legalizing gay marriage in California. There were hugs and happy cries in support of the act.
Thomas is on now. Arman is happily watching and waiving goodbye to me.
I open the door. There is smoke, a very strongly smelled smoke, in front of my door!
Arman woke up early this morning, he usually does. Like the day before the first thing he asked for was Scarloui, his new found train. He loves train. And his favorite show is Thomas the Tank Engine. He watched me getting ready and then he stood by me and bowed and rose in prayer. Later, when I was shining my shoes preparing to leave he asked if I would tune the TV to the Thomas show, I accepted I would. I suggested him to grab Scarloui and watch the show with him. He flew to his room to bring it shouting "Merci maami" happily. He calls me "maami" when he is totally pleased or in his playful mode, and I adore it.
I turned on the TV. There was news on the last channel we watched last night. It was about legalizing gay marriage in California. There were hugs and happy cries in support of the act.
Thomas is on now. Arman is happily watching and waiving goodbye to me.
I open the door. There is smoke, a very strongly smelled smoke, in front of my door!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Hike
We went for a hike on Portola Redwoods State Park to be among the dark green leaves that were inviting me yesterday. The first hour of the hike was merely a joke. We just stepped a few 100 feet. My A was fascinated with the woods, the wood sticks, pines on the ground, dirt, stones, river, ... . And was hardly moving. So after an hour of a somewhat idle walk we sat on a bench and had our lunch. After which we hikes another few miles but A was mainly carried by M and partly carried by me. It was lots of fun hiking with a 23 month old. And by the time we were sure we were the coolest parents to take our baby son for a hike in the woods there came a couple with an even younger baby in a shoulder carrier!
Oh! And yes! We are reaching that time of the year again: A's second birthday! He is growing up. Let's face it. He is going to be a grown man one day, God willing. He wont be "my" man then, or ever. He is always my A.
Oh! And yes! We are reaching that time of the year again: A's second birthday! He is growing up. Let's face it. He is going to be a grown man one day, God willing. He wont be "my" man then, or ever. He is always my A.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
A Saturday
Sitting in the library behind a study desk by the window to prepare for my presentation for my course, I gaze at the distant mountains. A mild fog and then dark green bushes on the whole mountain skirt is inviting. Closer to the building there are taller trees. Fresh green leaves, dark red leaves, and palm trees. I realize once more that I have started liking and enjoying Northern California. The sun is still too bright for me here and I still enjoy cloudy days better, but there is beauty. And I like this beauty.
It was about three weeks after the new year, when we had a lunch gathering with Iranian colleagues from other branches in Bay Area to celebrate the new year. I was sitting in MS's van while we were driving to the restaurant. Gazing out of the car window I watched the green grass on the road premises, and the wildest wild flowers in terrain. And that was my very first realization of the beautiful California.
Spring makes every thing prettier I believe.
It was about three weeks after the new year, when we had a lunch gathering with Iranian colleagues from other branches in Bay Area to celebrate the new year. I was sitting in MS's van while we were driving to the restaurant. Gazing out of the car window I watched the green grass on the road premises, and the wildest wild flowers in terrain. And that was my very first realization of the beautiful California.
Spring makes every thing prettier I believe.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
وبلاگ
یک مصاحبه با یک خبرنگار عراقی که از عراق برگشته بود...
Blog: Inside
Post: http://washingtonbureau.typepad.com/iraq/2007/05/a_look_through_.html
خیلی احساس میکنم که این مادر را میفهمم!
به نظر من زمان جنگ در دنیا گذشته است. اما جنگ نه تنها ادامه دارد، جنگها هنوز در پیشند... تاریخ تکرار میشود؟ یا انسان نادانتر؟
Friday, April 18, 2008
Interesting life
We were throwing a congratulatory lunch party for a colleague (AA) who is leaving to Hawaii tomorrow to get married by the end of the next week. I was sitting at the table with another colleague (VM) who is originally from Iraq. We started chatting and I was trying to memorize some Spanish phrases he was trying to teach me(he speaks Spanish); then one thing led to another and finally I found myself telling him about my dream (actually nightmare) last night.
When I woke up I found my whole body aching and all my muscles tense. In my dream there were military planes dropping bombs on the city I was in. I had experienced similar events in real life, being in Iran during the 80s, only I was a kid back then and in my dream last night I was the mom I am, trying to find a shelter for my A! I was then remembering my parents, and all those staying in Iran during the bombardment days and weeks and months, sleeping in the basement, the whole family, and listening to my father telling "Nokhodi"'s stories, and me listening to the sound of the military planes, the sound of the bombs exploding somewhere, and then thinking about my classmate who was crying in the school shelter that same day when the siren invited us all there, then imagining the cry of a baby were the bomb hit and scream of mothers and fathers. I was afraid of the lizards too, who resided in the basement. We were kids. Pure kids. And they were mothers and fathers. Sheltering us under the roof they shared with us. One for all and all for one? Was that the motto? I am amazed how they and we survived all that. And I was telling VM, an Iraqi, about this all ...
VM's life is really like a story itself I should tell you bits and pieces I know in another post may be, God willing.
When I woke up I found my whole body aching and all my muscles tense. In my dream there were military planes dropping bombs on the city I was in. I had experienced similar events in real life, being in Iran during the 80s, only I was a kid back then and in my dream last night I was the mom I am, trying to find a shelter for my A! I was then remembering my parents, and all those staying in Iran during the bombardment days and weeks and months, sleeping in the basement, the whole family, and listening to my father telling "Nokhodi"'s stories, and me listening to the sound of the military planes, the sound of the bombs exploding somewhere, and then thinking about my classmate who was crying in the school shelter that same day when the siren invited us all there, then imagining the cry of a baby were the bomb hit and scream of mothers and fathers. I was afraid of the lizards too, who resided in the basement. We were kids. Pure kids. And they were mothers and fathers. Sheltering us under the roof they shared with us. One for all and all for one? Was that the motto? I am amazed how they and we survived all that. And I was telling VM, an Iraqi, about this all ...
VM's life is really like a story itself I should tell you bits and pieces I know in another post may be, God willing.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
weather
Green grapes; AC's cool breeze; ... Is it summer already?
It has been a really hot weekend. It is supposed to cool down again for the week to come.
We went for a two hour hike yesterday. Loved the green! Fresh. New. Crisp. Loved the wild flowers, orange, purple, and white.
M is cooking us some thing for lunch. The only ingredient I wanted to be in the dish was mushrooms. I hear the sound of sizzling veggies and the spoon banging the skillet. Cannot wait to see and taste it. It smells good.
A is walking in the apartment, singing, talking to himself, and pushing his bigger cars. Playing with himself for a change and not bugging either of his parents for a change to read to him, paint with him, or just be with him while he plays.
I have decided on my assignment. I have a new idea I need to act upon.
I have been thinking about my friends who are near and dear in my heart. I am in contact with them mainly via e-mail. I don't find myself missing them though. They are with me. And I enjoy their company, the thought of them being my friend and spending the time to write to me. I feel their positive thinking towards me and that energizes me.
Life is full of harmonies. There are times for chaos too. I am just enjoying this time of alignment.
It is a nice Sunday!
It has been a really hot weekend. It is supposed to cool down again for the week to come.
We went for a two hour hike yesterday. Loved the green! Fresh. New. Crisp. Loved the wild flowers, orange, purple, and white.
M is cooking us some thing for lunch. The only ingredient I wanted to be in the dish was mushrooms. I hear the sound of sizzling veggies and the spoon banging the skillet. Cannot wait to see and taste it. It smells good.
A is walking in the apartment, singing, talking to himself, and pushing his bigger cars. Playing with himself for a change and not bugging either of his parents for a change to read to him, paint with him, or just be with him while he plays.
I have decided on my assignment. I have a new idea I need to act upon.
I have been thinking about my friends who are near and dear in my heart. I am in contact with them mainly via e-mail. I don't find myself missing them though. They are with me. And I enjoy their company, the thought of them being my friend and spending the time to write to me. I feel their positive thinking towards me and that energizes me.
Life is full of harmonies. There are times for chaos too. I am just enjoying this time of alignment.
It is a nice Sunday!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
You do the math
“275,000” homes were destroyed during Hurricane Katrina”
“There are 50,000,000 people without health insurance in the States”
“With the price of a pair of shoes you can change lives”
…
“The cost of the war in Iraq has been $3,000,000,000,000”.
“There are 50,000,000 people without health insurance in the States”
“With the price of a pair of shoes you can change lives”
…
“The cost of the war in Iraq has been $3,000,000,000,000”.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
بودن در اینجا و حال
چند روز بود که این فکر توی ذهنم غوطه ور بود که امروز میم عزیزم دقیقا به همین نکته اشاره کرد. اینکه دوران نوجوانی و مخصوصا اول جوانی به طرز عجیبی میگذره. هر قدر هم بهت بگند که الان از هفت دنیا آزادی باورت نمیشه و به نظرت همه چیز زیادی مهم میاد. ولی الان که نگاه میکنه انگار حیفت میاد. میگی کاش بهتر گذرونده بودم.
مشکلات داشتیم، نه که نداشتیم. از مدرسه و معدل و کنکور بگیر تا خود دانشگاه و دوستیها و انتخاب همسر و محک زدنهای مخصوص اون دوران. الان که نگاه میکنی انگار اونموقع هیچ مساله ای واسه حل کردن نبود و تازه مشکلهای اساسی شروع شده!
اخیرا یک تعبیر تازه از دنیا و زندگی رو دارم سعی میکنم که درک کنم: انگار عقل جزیی ناگزیر از تجربه این خطاهاست. این تعبیر رو چند روز پیش خوندم. از اون لحظاتی بود که یکباره کتاب رو کنار میگذاری. مکث میکنی، و بعد یک لبخند از قلبت میاد و به لبت میشنه که هوم...
"جهان خلق عالمی است محکوم به حکم زمان و مکان و حالات غیر ارضی مدت و امتداد، حالاتی که از قوه خیال بشر بیرون است. این جهان همواره در ماضی و مستقبل و در «آنجا» است و هرگز حال و حاضر و «اینجا» نیست. حضور و حضرت مختص حق است و مجمع ازل و ابد که منزه از همه آفات زمانی و امور ممتده است و در عین حال مدت و امتداد را در بر گرفته و در آنها ساری است، نه فقط اول هر اولی است بلکه آخر هر آخری است." عارفی از الجزایر/ مارتین لینگز؛ ترجمه نصرا... پورجوادی- ص 130
یا حق!
هفده بدر
رفتیم هفده به در! با فامیل و دوستان و دوستانشون و دوستانمون. خوشحالم که ایرانیم و سنتی دارم که درش روح تازه طبیعت رو جشن میگیریم هر سال.
دوستان قدیمی از تورنتو پیشمون بودند. آخرش اونی که از قبل میشناسی یک چیز دیگست! یک جنس دیگست. نتیجه اینکه اونی که امروز شناختی رو مغتنم بدون چون فردا همون میشه از یک جنس دیگه!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
SIZDABEDAR
Have a happy and joyful "Nature's Day" you all!
It has been a good year so far. Unexpected good surprises have come our way and I am optimistic about a nice year ahead. There are also new thought coming to my mind, new visions if you will; I am finding the life moving fast forward. There is a beauty in it: there is nothing too serious to hold on to. It will pass, sooner or later. And at the end of the end there is returning to the beginning. Which is all nice. I am grateful for life!
Have a happy and peaceful year!
It has been a good year so far. Unexpected good surprises have come our way and I am optimistic about a nice year ahead. There are also new thought coming to my mind, new visions if you will; I am finding the life moving fast forward. There is a beauty in it: there is nothing too serious to hold on to. It will pass, sooner or later. And at the end of the end there is returning to the beginning. Which is all nice. I am grateful for life!
Have a happy and peaceful year!
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About Me
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- An emigrant from an ancient civilization to North America, an engineer in marketing and management, a mom of working kind, who thinks when she talks, and who likes to write. I, L.B., own the copyright to the content.