We just bought a house. A house that has put us under this humongous debt forcing us to work and produce money at the capacity we are, and more. No compromise possible anymore!
This fact made me furious! I felt tethered like a slave to work for the bank until I was rid of this awful weight of mortgage on our shoulders.
How could I? How could we?
I was this bird imprisoned inside this cage awaiting an occasion to find the door open and flee away to far far away lands. To open her wings and marvel in the rays of the sun on each feather. To ascend high and descend low as the heart pleased. To soar the skies and discover new lands. To meet new birds and greet new opportunities. To learn and execute outside this cage.
Now this caged bird had a tether on her foot too.
The bird had to stay now. Stay put and concentrated. Not only the door wont open, there wont be any flying even if it did. No chance to explore outside the security of this job. She needed the security of the place now.
Disappointing! Unfair! Maddening! Infuriating!
It took a couple days for the bird to suddenly feel content. There was no new opportunity to explore outside but there seemed to be many opportunities inside now that she had the (forced) time and occasion to focus on it. She thought she wanted to be here. To stay here. To observe and learn and explore from right here. As long as God has her sustenance here, she would graciously accept it.
Focused! Hopeful! Innovative! Optimistic! Spontaneous! Joyous! Satisfactory!
The anchor on my foot set me free!
Don't worry Leila joon, you will be just fine. The fear is like the flying moment, the highest you have flown. BTW, your house is gorgeous. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteMerci Maryam joon! We hope to host you and your beautiful family frequently in our new house, enshala :)
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