Early on Tuesday

"Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

And maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

If I made you feel second best

Girl I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

And maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

But ..."

The sound of the waves crashing on the boulders spiked high and made her open her eyes reflexively.  She was sitting in a lotus pose inside the cottage yet it felt as if the waves were crashing at her door.  The cottage was located just a bit too close to the edge of the boulders.  Earlier that morning she drove to the Santa Cruz coast to spend the day in the cottage. She got it rented just the night before. How lucky!

A day by herself. Alone. By the ocean.

She shut her eyes again falling back in her meditation. Inhaling the smell of the ocean, exhaling gratitude. Inhaling the support, exhaling gratitude. Inhaling the challenges, exhaling gratitude.

She imagined him; his name; his face; his crooked smile.  Then she imagined him gliding away getting smaller and smaller to a tiny little dot in the vast space of all her imaginations. At the fantasy of it all she smiled while her eyes closed. Relieved.