Malady and Apple Watch

Since I've been diagnosed with this malady, gestational diabetes, my Apple Watch has become a part of my wrist. I use it for tracking my exercise activities, also to time my hour after each meal to mark when to poke and measure, plus following my calories just to give myself some daily boost. It matters. Somehow achieving the daily goals has been motivational to me. Oh this malady has helped in achieving my activity goals and beyond!! I must say that's what I'm grateful for this issue.

Here comes the catch: my fasting glucose is spiking every morning. I've changed and modified my evening snacks but to no avail really. My dear Doctor friend, M. Sh., attributed that to my engineering mind: to assume there is linear or even nonlinear but explainable correlation between my diet and activities and this blood sugar mystery. Alas, even though I'm almost at control during the day, during the night I lose complete control and predictability.

Gestational Diabetes

I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes on Thursday, which is two days ago. I must say I was the least prepared for the news. I had taken the test six days prior and had called it "an unnecessary torture".  I was the least bit suspicious it would happen. And it had.

I was shocked. This was the first time it was happening. Then I felt sad. Then I felt a tiny bit panicky but I felt mainly and profoundly sad.

And then I spent three hours on the web reading about it and educating myself.

My Ob wanted me to visit with a nutritionist. So I made an appointment for the next day thinking we would talk about food and exercise.  Simple stuff, right? She also wants me to not gain any more weight and I have 12 more weeks to go. I have already gained 14 kg or 33 lbs. not unusual based on past experience.  How to manage not gaining any more is underwhelming.

The nutrition specialist was way more serious that I was prepared for. She already had my "starter kit" ready complete with 50 needles and a home needle disposal bin.

Sigh. It was serious!

I am still trying to get a hang of it all, what I shall eat and what I shan't, what to do if I felt hungry, what kind of exercises to do and when and for how long.  How to poke myself to ache less.  Where not to poke.  How to deal with nightly heart burns and the last snack of the day.  What to eat when I will be traveling to Orlando for business next week (my last for a while or so its the plan). 

And here is the beginning.

On the Path of Love

I have started a soul searching practice. It's really nothing new; have been at it since I got to know I was a being in teenagehood.

There are many things in this world that I can't explain. There are people’s reactions and actions that have no explanation in my books. I don't take them personally. Or more precisely, I try to do so. I believe everyone reacts and acts based on their state of being. I do too.

I am trying to do my best, everything I do. I feel tired in my body. My back sores and my eyes need a shut time. So I'm laying down and doing my best in blogging about my learnings and practice as of late.

Finally, I'm trying to be watchful of my words as I recognize their power. I try to do my best in being impeccable with my words.

In fact, the Toltec four agreements thought me these:

1) Be impeccable with your words

2) don't take things personally

3) don't make assumptions

4) always do your best

On my Path of Love I'm being watchful of my negative feelings on a nightly bases and making a diary out of them. I'm required to particularly notice feelings of pride, resentment, and envy. I'm coming up this realization that most of my negative feelings are actually fear. Pride, envy, and reset meant in me stem in the feeling of fear.  For now, I'm only acknowledging them.

May our Path be lit with Love!