A Woman with a Bump - Rollercoaster Day

It was a strange day. I don't know when it started affecting me so hard.
I started a beautiful day feeling good. I was wearing a new maternity dress I had just bought even though only two more months remaining of my pregnancy. Needed a flowydress for these hot days. And got lots of compliment. Even "you are the most beautiful pregnant lady I've ever seen"!!:) so sweet a remark after the comment about me having twins.
But then I received an ungrateful review for one of my meetings.  It didn't affect me much at the time; I knew I had done my part and knew sometimes people can act selfish and demanding but the more it passed the deeper it hurt.  It was not a successful meeting and I think it was because of lack of communication and knowledge from the other party involved. But then suddenly it had become my fault!  Makes me wonder if it is like this everywhere.
I'm looking forward to reducing load and taking off for a while.  Soon enshala.

Notes from a Woman with a Bump - Coping

There are nine weeks remaining to my due date; I love having her within me for another nine weeks.
Yet I feel exhausted in my body lately.
I am trying to observe me and the changes within me, both emotionally and physically.
I am loving and nurturing my baby.  I try to talk to her sometimes and recently started reciting the holy verses to her.
I try to meditate, even if for two deep breaths.
I try to eat natural and that makes me feel good.
I am adding flower essences (rose or orange blossom) to my ice cold water and really enjoy the soothing sensation flowing in me.
The most challenging exercise in my coping is to not get angry.  I am observing this feeling and try to remain calm through it.
I am trying to finish my work commitments sooner, just in case.
There is still a lot to be done at home in preparation but I try to take care of them one by one.  Mainly, I am working on a couple lists.  But hopefully will find the time to execute them.
This pregnancy is allowing me to observe more consciously.  All is calm...

Notes from a Woman with a Bump - Weight Gain

My body gained 52lbs during my first pregnancy.  I was not necessarily swollen, I do not recall.  But I was big.  Huge in the last few weeks.  This 52lb gain was after 5lbs loss in the first trimester.
They say for a woman with normal BMI, the healthy weight gain is 25-35lbs.
But there was nothing I could do to slow down the weight gain cause there was nothing I was doing to gain in the first place.  No particular overindulgence but lack of physical activities for sure, even though I swam once a week and walked when the snow storms on Toronto allowed and did yoga till 7th month.
I lost it all in the first 3 months post deliver.  I was back to where I was after that.  Granted, I stayed active.  And I cannot wait to be able to do a set of 20 jumping jacks again followed one of those 2 minutes ab works from Exercise TV.
This time, my body started gaining weight from the beginning of my pregnancy.  I do not appreciate the negative remarks about my body's form and weight gain to be honest.  I appreciate "you are a cute pregnant lady" though ;)  Which I do get a lot.  But last week a colleague asked about the week I am in, week 30th, and then asked if I had a twin!!  Interestingly her own body is on the heavy side.
In the past four weeks my body has gained only 2lbs, which is a record low since I routinely meet my doc.
Today in one of the many pregnancy magazines laying around the house I read that in the 3rd trimester the baby grows twice as tall and gains four times its weight.  Well.  Here we go!

Notes from a Woman with a Bump - Baby Kicks

Quickening.
That is the word for the baby kicks.  Vocabulary.
I have been able to feel her kicks since week 14 of pregnancy.  A pregnant colleague gasped "impossible!".  Well.  I have.  But M has been feeling the kicks closer to week 20.  Is she too strong or am I too sensitive?
Recently, the kicks and the patterns have changed to a strange mode I do not recall remembering from my first pregnancy.  Oh well, it was seven years ago.
She is still kicking and pressing here and there.  But sometimes she jerks too suddenly it feels as if she was stuck and suddenly got free.  Also she seems to shake here and there.  Not quite "shaking", but that is the best way I can describe it.
Thankfully I met with my doc yesterday and she assured me any movement was considered good.
So, baby!  Please just move.  Mommy loves it!

One Head and One Thousand Dreams

One head and one thousand dreams.  That is how I can describe me lately.
I am still working on my registry list, what I need to take to the hospital, finalizing the hospital tour, baby girl's name, organizing back up nanny.  Then I am planning for A's birthday parties; like every year he is having a few parties with friends and family friends and families.  I am also preparing for my new hire, a new and welcomed challenge.  I am trying to finalize my work commitments which is, like always, never ending.
I was thinking today to write about my pregnancy a bit, in my own diary.  But my diary is private and this is the experience I would like to share with my kids...  Gosh!  Kids!!  Who knew I will have two.  Well, enshala.  So, here is my new endeavor: writing about pregnancy.

My First Train Ride in the USA

I am on board on Amrak, Pacific Surfliner, from San Diego to Santa Barbara.  Departing right at 4PM, on business class for $62!  The commute is supposed to take about 5 hours 40 minutes.  We shall see.  I have read delays with this train but so far smack on time.
I am going to take time site seeing while we still have daylight.  Then I have a ton of emails to catch up with.
San Diego was nice this trip.  We got here Thursday afternoon and I had to meet a customer than night.  I worked on Friday too but then we got to take A to Legoland and Sea World and he had a blast.  He rode the Mini City Car Ride in Legoland 7 times; the ride he couldn't get on last year since he was not fill 6 years old.  He rode the coasters a couple times too with daddy.  I was the bystander for most of the rides; ok, all of the rides except the Sky Rider in the Sea World.
We got to meet my dear R.A. Her mom had brought me a pearl set from India which was so sweet of her.  She then gifted a hand knitted blanket to the baby girl.  It was fantastic catching up with her, try her great Chai again, and just chat even though too short of a time.
We had brunch at Cafe Chloe in the Gaslamp Quarter in San Diego.  Totally recommended.  Great food, nice ambiance, and polite and welcoming servers.
A and I really liked San Diego like always.  Hard to leave now.  Especially since M and A left by plane back home and I am on my own to Santa Barbara.  Well, baby girl is keeping me company so quietly for now :)

Rira

"We are all doing fine!
But you don't believe it."
How I miss it deeply suddenly.  His voice.  Khosrow Shakibaii. God bless his soul!
And his words!  Ali Salehi.

There was the high school era.  The time to meet friends, every day.  Every single day.  And the time to dream, dream among those friends of the same thread.  Dream, every day.  Every single day.  Dream all the dreams in the world.  The presence of those friends was enough to make many many dreams seem possible.

"ziba! havaaye hosele abrist"

Now, today, being thousands of thousands of miles away from them, residing on the other side of the world, being out of school for years already, being the wife of a man I love, being the mother of a boy I adore, being the employee of a company I admired, I bump into stop signs on a daily basis.  I see people eye to eye while they are looking at me with their dreamless eyes, with their waxed ears, with their closed mind.  I see people who are looking but cannot see.

Those friends of the same thread are not here to dream with me every day anymore.  Yet, I will continue with my dreaming.  I will continue seeing what other might not be able to see.  I will continue dreaming of bigger dreams.  I will look at the stop signs of the dreamless people and walk through their stop signs.

I am.