Break

All that is needed to gain vision into a matter is to break from it sometimes.

Lost in Translation (2003) - Genius!

They are lost.

She is a young beautiful sexy neglected wife of two years.
He is a middle aged successful bored rich husband of 25 years.

She thinks deep, her husband is shallow. She looks for meaning, her husband looks for fun.
He looks for company, his wife is content without him around. He wants to be heard, his wife is too busy with the kids and home renovation to listen.

She cannot sleep while her husband snores.
He cannot sleep but when calls home his wife is occupied with feeding the kids.

She feels lost.
He feels lost.

They meet.

They greet.

They talk.

They start being heard.
They start making jokes.
They start laughing at each other's humor.
They start feeling secured. They start sharing their insecurities.
They do not judge.
They keep each other company.

Then they have to part; the impossible feelings.

He leaves; she hides in the elavator.  He finds her in the crowds of Tokyo on his way to the airport.  Catches up with her.  She is crying.  He hugs her.  She hugs him.  He says something in her ears. She smiles and wipes her tears.

They depart.




PS: I wish I knew what he said in her ears at the end of the movie ...  what made her smile?

Duality

There is a thrill in secrecy; there is a joy in the thought of a hidden treasure; it feels empowering when there is a knowledge one owns and the rest do not.
There is a thrill in openness; there is a joy in the thought of a treasure showed off and boasted around; it feels empowering to present what one knows and the rest do not.
It takes courage and wisdom to choose between the two.

Lodging in the Jasper National Park

Friday Jun 15th
Blue blue sky, ornamented with fluffy white clouds, boasting over magnificent Canadian Rockie mountains.
It is great being here!
We left Edmomton last night and got here around 11PM. My dear sister S and brother in-law AF had taken care of everything. Everything. From lodging to sightseeing spots to breakfasts and dinners.  We were treated like absolute guests and I got a lot of time to just contemplate, think, meditate, be.
We are staying at the Pine Bagalows. It is a great venue with a great view by the Athabasca river and yet minutes away from the town of Jasper.  It was serene yet alive with a trembling river.  Constantly renewing.
We went to the Colombia Mt Glacier today, first time walking on a glacier. The color of the glacier ice was a bluish green, very unique and pure, I could watch it forever. The mountains and pine groves were amazingly eye catching. And never repetitive after an hour of drive.
Back in the cottage the guys took care of the BBQ and my dear sister took care of the rest. So I got a few minutes by myself at the river to meditate some. Ah!  Magnificent!
HBD my M!
Saturday June 16th
We hiked the Maligne canyon. It was an amazing canyon, very deep and very alive. The water and the sand in constant battle of power; it was magnificent!
We saw two black bears, one really close, while driving to the Maligne lake. It was like prayers answered; the one up close was actually very cute.  Minding his own business munching on fresh grass.
M, A, and I canoed on the lake. My beautiful goodness! The picturesque mountains looking down at the lake! And A rowed nicely albeit like a pure armature. It was a lovely experience as if pumping energy in my veins.
Back at the lodge while eating supper we saw a herd of white tale deer feeding themselves in between the Bangalows; they were so much fun to watch. Especially a mom with three kids. All the neighbors had come out to take pictures of the herd.
After dinner at the cottage we strolled the town of Jasper for a while, it is a little town of its own character.  Finally, at 11PM, the sky was still light as if the sun had no plan to vanish so we walked to the river by our lodge for a short while just to get a different view of it all.
I really like the life observed in the river.
Sunday Jun 17th
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there!  Particularly to my M!  He is a great father indeed!
...This life is a white slate provided to each of us. What are we drawing?...
Last meditating moments by the river, last coffee in the fresh air of the Canadian Rockie mountains, and finally, last quick hike with S. We had a leisurely drive back to the city.
We got to meet our dear friends from our past life in Toronto, dear NA and MRS, for dinner.  I cannot stop thinking about the visit.  It was lovely to meet them again after many  years and get to meet their lovely daughter. Such a nice little girlie.  She made me many dishes of food with her toy dishes, they were all yummy, pretend.  And our friends from good old days in Toronto had grown locals in Edmonton. They were both still as artistic or more so with their handcrafts and dishes of dinner and desert.  I feel so happy to have gotten the chance to spend some time at their place!  A great ending to a great trip indeed!

Illusion

She was sitting by the window in front of the entrance door; a book was open in front of her, her eyes were vaguely looking at something beyond the glass door.
She turned the ring on her finger and smiled gleefully.  He was looking down at her with a triumphant smile of a gentleman; bent forward and held her hand: "promise".
The door opened with a ding of a bell.  A guy walked in and headed straight to the "Order Here".  The wind from the door turned the pages of her book.  She was hazy.
It was a wonderfully pleasant day.  Barcelona. A bright green camisole under a white button-down shirt, a short yellow skirt with a pair of beige sandals.  He was watching her as she got ready, his eyes shining with a kind confident smile.  They head down to the Las Romblas street for a late morning breakfast.  She thought she would be more than content with a gelato to break her fast.
She looked down at her finger and traced it from the knuckle to the tip.  Under her fingers, she had held open the book to an unfamiliar page.  She browsed a few sentences on the page, then turned back to find where she had last stopped reading.  Or rather the part she remembered.
It was chili in the metro from the blow of the AC.  He put his hand on her bare arm.  His palm was cold.  Her arm was surprisingly but pleasantly warm.  He slid his hand up and down a few times.  She thought how she adored his touch.
Her coffee was cold beyond tasty.  She threw the cup away and sat down with a glass of water.  The cold skin of the glass was absolutely dry.
The moist in the air was just perfect on her hair and skin.  Her straight hair had a wave now without any effort and her skin looked as if wiped by fresh tomato juice, radiating with a faint bright orange shine.  Their glasses on the table were covered with moist.  She traced her finger on the foggy glass, a smiley face.
She bent her fingers, let go of the open book.  The pages flew open to a pre-marked page.  It was the beginning of a chapter. "Illusion".

Done with Mocha

I am done with having mocha made with chocolate syrup.
I have been disappointed at Starbucks mocha for a while now.  Yesterday I tried the Second Cup Cafe Mocha in Edmonton after a few years.  Disappointed again!
So, I decided I need to craft my own drink.
I like the taste of coffee, I like to feel the taste and texture of chocolate.  I never was a fan of sugar.  Hence, what is needed is a well brewed coffee (french press has become so appealing lately), a nicely made cocoa powder, and a nice creamy milk.  None to be found at any of the franchise coffee shops (may be stumptown coffee is an exception).  Perhaps I better open my own coffee shop.  M seemed to like the idea.  I have a friend (A.P.) who is a genius with pastries and cookies.  Tempting.

Shoes: Stylish or Comfortable

I read it once in a shoe museum (in London was it?) that the high heel shoes were built for the royal women and the women of the elite families so that the rim of their long dresses and skirts were protected from puddles of water and dirt on the ground. It seems that after that we, the commoners, started liking the style too. And used it so thoughtlessly that never wondered about the origin of it all.  The difference however is how we do not even intend protecting the cloth; all we think about is the style now.  Today the high heels are as abundant as it seems they have been available since the beginning of time. And one thing they usually are not is comfortable.

I have been looking for a stylish yet comfortable pair of shoes that are not sneakers forever now. I stopped at the mall in the quest of a nice and  comfortable pair this past Friday night. After a few stops I found myself at Naturalizer, where my sister S shops a lot. I had found their collection mature-looking before but lately I find quite a variety of styles there. Given how my feet were agonizing in my shoes at the time, I found their shoes really comfortable and ended up buying two pairs of summery high heels. But wearing them for two days and in the airport today seems like the sandals are not that comfortable after all; even though more comfortable than the ones I had before.  They are stylish, the straps are pretty flexible, and I really like their versatile shiny nude color.

The quest for the stylish yet comfortable shoes, particularly for travels, is not over yet.  Although Naturalizer is strongly yet cautiously recommended.

Driving Dream

I always wanted to drive.  Being permitted to drive was a dream to me as a youngster.  Particularly the kind of driving that involved listening to music.
We were only teenagers that we got hold of an Ace of Base album cassette; my cousin H gave me a copy when we were departing Tehran to the North one spring vacation; during the most of the drive we were listening to the songs over and over. I think it was a miracle that we all got to enjoy the album in the car.  Then during the course of our stay there, H & I would lend my dad's shift gear Pathfinder after much cajoling and drove about just in  the gated area of our rented vacation houses. How liberating it felt!
Now a couple days ago in my car I got to listen to the album again. Such a pinnacle moment! In the spring of 1995 I would never even thought of 17 years ahead ... listening to the songs in 17 years driving on highway 880...

The Light of My Eyes

I am looking at his picture from three years ago.  It is a perfect image of the left side of his face.  He is looking away, with a slight frown.  I can look at this picture for ever and ever.  I look at the curls in his hair at the back of his neck.  His perfect little nose and lips and a hanging under chin.  His perfectly black eye under a tilted eyebrow.
I look at his lips and I remember his tiny little voice.
I look at his cheek and I feel the soft touch on my lips kissing him.
I can brush his hair with my finger still.
I love this picture.
I adore this boy.
He is the light of my eyes.  He is indeed the light of my life.  God bless you my sunny son!

Sunday Chat

Warm sun. Cool breeze. Nice mannered crowd.  It is a wonderfully gorgeous day at the beach.
A dear friend showed us this place which is tucked away from the Santa Cruz crowd, yet close enough to allow for a stop at the Marianne's creamery on way back.
Late in the morning I ushered everyone out of the house after packing us a picnic bag. Then during our ride on Hwy17 I got on the phone with my dad and online with my siblings for our usual Sunday chat.
I really enjoy these Sunday chats.  It allows for lots of different discussions.  Discussions that may not come up on the phone.  Discussions that can be as lame/fun as what we are making for lunch/dinner or as serious as best practices/challenges in raising a resilient child.
Today, there started a discussion about the need to know the future. And why it is appealing. My sister S said that as long as you were told the positive in the future she didn't mind knowing.  We didn't stay on the topic for too long but while sitting on the beat I thought with myself some more and dug deeper in the idea in my head.
I think it is for sure appealing to get to know the future. One reason why can be because it is a knowledge bound in time and there is nothing one can do to gain it. So learning glimpses of it in advance provides you with a vision you lack, one might argue.
Thinking about it some more, I think I don't want to know the future anymore. When I was younger it could've been exciting to know, but now, I think I'm in a stage in life I don't want anything to change except toward the better. But change is inevitable, and I know that not all changes are exciting. Hence, I have no interest in knowing what's in store. Prefer to deal with any change as it comes I think.  And I pray that God prevent any burden on me beyond my capacity and what I can carry on with.  Anything positive, I am all for it.  But what is negative.  Isn't it all our expectations?  Isn't everything positive in the end?  I hope so!
So let's put it this way:  I do not want to anticipate the future.  I want to live now.

Lost Materials

I feel bad if I loose something. I feel bad mostly because I think why this even happened. Was I not paying attention? How can I trust myself again if I'm not vigilant about my stuff? The casualties haven't had high values so far, thank God. But still bothers me. I forgot a book in a hotel in Germany two years ago. I forgot a travel size Lore'al shampoo that worked really nice on my hair in a hotel in Colorado, and yesterday, I think I dropped a really nice colored lipstick and lip shine Lancôme duo in South Carolina. But how? I looked in my cosmetic bag twice. It wasn't there and I thought I had forgotten to pack it in the last minute. Couldn't find it at home either. This really bothers more. I am not even sure where I lost it. Can I trust myself with my good stuff again? I'm being too tough on me I know but I just don't like forgetting things.
Happy weekend everyone!