I still sound like myself.
Driving to work I got caught in traffic, again. Hence, it was a long drive with lots of break and go and I was trapped in this quiet can called my car. I turned on the radio but it sounded horrible to my ears. So I turned it off and not bearing my thoughts I impulsively called my mom to regret my decision by the sound of the first ring, I was not in the mood. Luckily, I got the vmail.
Sitting in the car I was thinking about all the floating thoughts and watch them get louder and louder. They were deafening!
I finally got to work and slid into my cube and got busy. Busy working, busy responding emails, busy composing some.
It is Halloween tonight and I was supposed to wear a costume to work but I found no appetite to put on all the make up required. I bailed at the last minute. Especially because I felt I already looked scary because of all the scary illusions in my head.
I felt I looked different already.
Ring. The phone rang. I hesitated, would I sound different? Would I sound sad as I felt so? Would they hear the tears that were blocking my throat? I had to respond.
Hi Lady J.A. I said. And paused. Did she hear me?
Happy Halloween she responded!
Phew! She didn't hear me!
I could keep up with this costume. No make up needed.
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About Me
- midnight/...
- An emigrant from an ancient civilization to North America, an engineer in marketing and management, a mom of working kind, who thinks when she talks, and who likes to write. I, L.B., own the copyright to the content.
Why are you so sad?
ReplyDeleteThanks for asking but alas cannot say.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine once said growing is painful; when one gets to be worthy of bigger truth, one hurts she said. I am not sure if it is the case with me right now. All I know is that I need to find the Divine in all that's sorounding me but feel too tiny to be worthy of it all.