Hated it so much I loved it.
"Life has a gap in it it just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it."
" - New things are shiny
- New things get old"
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Super Bowl, First Time I Watched
Since I have emigrated to US, this was the first time I watched the Super Bowl. What enticed me was the fact that the San Francisco 49ers were playing after many years. At the beginning of the game M reviewed the rules for me and this time I actually could follow it as I paid attention. We watched the first quarter with friends who had a new baby boy and then joined our relatives in Walnut Creek for the rest if the game. It was almost unbelievable that there was a power outage in the middle of rhe game. But seems that was the time needed by 49ers to gather their focus as they made up very nicely with a couple scored fumbles and touch downs. I found the 49ers quarterback very humble looking and that seemed a huge contrast to the Ravens erogant looking quaterback. In the end 49ers lost with only 3 point difference and more than feeling sorry for their loss I felt bad for the Ravens win. At least though I enjoyed the game for the first time ... more and more infused in the American life ...
A Saturday Hike
It was a foggy day yesterday, so is today so far. A was watching TV since 6:10AM, which is his weekend routine but not necessarily has M's or my approval for any duration more than 2 hours. M suggested a hike outing and I got on line to find a non-shaded path for up to 3 hours of hike, given our situation. Stile Ranch Train in Santa Tresa Park got selected and toward the southern hills we head. It was a very pleasant hike, green hills and ranches around. We shared the path with mountain bikers and horse back riders. Got to see many hawks and still not blooming wild flowers. These hills are famous for their wild flowers in Spring. The fact that it was not shaded made the foggy day more pleasant with some warmth from the hiding sun. We finished a 2.6 mile hike in 2 hours and 50 minutes which was a nice contrast to the two hours A had spent in front of the TV.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Pregnancy The Beautiful
Grateful for this baby inside me, with me when I sleep, with me when I raise, with me when I prat, with me when I eat. People can see the evidence of a baby growing inside me but I know the baby is growing inside me; I can feel her. And it is utmost beautiful. Thank God!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Turquoise Howz
I want to build howz, a fountain. I want to bring in those blue turquoise mosaics and decorate my howz inch by inch. Those mosaics that are baked in a local shop deep in the bazaar, and painted the perfect smooth color of turquoise by the artistic fingers of an old man. I want to buy the smallest mosaics, and carry them all the way from that land of my grandparents and build a fountain in the middle of my garden. I want my children to remember the color of blue such that it was in those ancient fountains in the middle of those gardens. I want to build a turquoise blue fountain.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
An Unexpected Trip to Paris
Work summoned me to Paris. It was a couple hectic days with early morning raise, metro rides, hospital visits, and case summaries. All the work part ended up being super good, thank God! Made all the hardships of the recent months feel rewarding.
Paris was cloudy and rainy and colder even perhaps compared to Odense. But it was busy none the less, particularly many pedestrians despite the cold, which is one feature I admire in big cities.
I learned how my life style in US is unhealthy and against the rhythm of my body. I need to feel the air on my skin, cold or hot, and I need to walk. In my life in California, I need to carve out time for such walks while both in Odense and Paris I had to walk, a lot, and it all felt good and natural even more so on my pregnant body.
I got the opportunity to spend the last evening with friends and relax. It was such a great pleasure.
My last transit via Frankfurt was uneventful. Even though the security guy on US flights seems not to have changed, I was familiar with his borderline rude gestures and interrogations.
The business lounge and priority boarding lines can be quite interesting sometimes, as if when some people gain status they lose common sense of society and rights. For example there was a lady ready to board the plane and was insisting that she was the beginning off the line. But she was not even standing behind the gate but rather further away. Plus her seat is predetermined, there wont be any loss or gain whether or not she is the first on board or the 10th. That was enough for me to pray that she was not my companion in the eleven hour ride. Thankfully, she was not. And even better, my companion ended up being a young and polite gentleman who was also a product manager with technical background. We got to chat about work and societies and politics and movies and foods. It was easy to chat with him. His companionship made the trip feel shorter and more pleasant. Plus I could sleep a few hours in the flight which was what my body needed desperately.
I got to watch Hemingway and Gellhorn (TV 2012) which was a nice coincidence to the leisure book I am reading, The Paris Wife. It was enough to know Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen were staring in it and that it was about Ernest Hemingway, my new passion. I really enjoyed watching it. I got to know how writing was a challenge even for greatest writers like Hemingway in the book I was reading. Then, in this movie also, Martha Gellhorn said once "there is a lot happening [in the war] but when I sit down to write, nothing." I liked it, although not even a emote comparison but I had felt the same thing exactly many times. The other coincidental matter about the movie was the depiction of the Franco era in Spain. Funnily, I got to hear about this part of Spanish history through Dr G.G. in Denmark over the 2nd day lunch. Made me wonder at the world connectivity even at such trivial level. Or is such matters like hearing the story of a fascist via person born and raised in a communist country and then watching it in an american movie really that trivial?
Wars. And all the boys and girls who watched their mothers die in front of their eyes living their tiny little hands stained with their innocent bloods. "little by little I am getting really angry" as Gellhorn sited from a young boy in the war.
It should have been really tough and dark living in 1920-1945 era in the world with all the enmities and famines.
Now the reality of this time is the enmity against particular religions. Such a pity!
On the subject of love Gellhorn said "the greatest enemy of love is boredom" and not jealousy. Made me wonder. Hemingway had written to Gellhorn "love is infinitely more durable than hate"; why is that? To me, hate is not the opposite to love, hate is an excess anger, and hence can be coexisting with love. But the opposite of love? I think it is disappointment.
I took the 280 route back home which was indeed a pleasure. Particularly since it was sunny in California after a week of rain, mist, and clouds in Odense and Paris. The good music I was listening to made everything even more likable.
Now out to a carved out time to walk in the fade sub of this Sunday afternoon.
Paris was cloudy and rainy and colder even perhaps compared to Odense. But it was busy none the less, particularly many pedestrians despite the cold, which is one feature I admire in big cities.
I learned how my life style in US is unhealthy and against the rhythm of my body. I need to feel the air on my skin, cold or hot, and I need to walk. In my life in California, I need to carve out time for such walks while both in Odense and Paris I had to walk, a lot, and it all felt good and natural even more so on my pregnant body.
I got the opportunity to spend the last evening with friends and relax. It was such a great pleasure.
My last transit via Frankfurt was uneventful. Even though the security guy on US flights seems not to have changed, I was familiar with his borderline rude gestures and interrogations.
The business lounge and priority boarding lines can be quite interesting sometimes, as if when some people gain status they lose common sense of society and rights. For example there was a lady ready to board the plane and was insisting that she was the beginning off the line. But she was not even standing behind the gate but rather further away. Plus her seat is predetermined, there wont be any loss or gain whether or not she is the first on board or the 10th. That was enough for me to pray that she was not my companion in the eleven hour ride. Thankfully, she was not. And even better, my companion ended up being a young and polite gentleman who was also a product manager with technical background. We got to chat about work and societies and politics and movies and foods. It was easy to chat with him. His companionship made the trip feel shorter and more pleasant. Plus I could sleep a few hours in the flight which was what my body needed desperately.
I got to watch Hemingway and Gellhorn (TV 2012) which was a nice coincidence to the leisure book I am reading, The Paris Wife. It was enough to know Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen were staring in it and that it was about Ernest Hemingway, my new passion. I really enjoyed watching it. I got to know how writing was a challenge even for greatest writers like Hemingway in the book I was reading. Then, in this movie also, Martha Gellhorn said once "there is a lot happening [in the war] but when I sit down to write, nothing." I liked it, although not even a emote comparison but I had felt the same thing exactly many times. The other coincidental matter about the movie was the depiction of the Franco era in Spain. Funnily, I got to hear about this part of Spanish history through Dr G.G. in Denmark over the 2nd day lunch. Made me wonder at the world connectivity even at such trivial level. Or is such matters like hearing the story of a fascist via person born and raised in a communist country and then watching it in an american movie really that trivial?
Wars. And all the boys and girls who watched their mothers die in front of their eyes living their tiny little hands stained with their innocent bloods. "little by little I am getting really angry" as Gellhorn sited from a young boy in the war.
It should have been really tough and dark living in 1920-1945 era in the world with all the enmities and famines.
Now the reality of this time is the enmity against particular religions. Such a pity!
On the subject of love Gellhorn said "the greatest enemy of love is boredom" and not jealousy. Made me wonder. Hemingway had written to Gellhorn "love is infinitely more durable than hate"; why is that? To me, hate is not the opposite to love, hate is an excess anger, and hence can be coexisting with love. But the opposite of love? I think it is disappointment.
I took the 280 route back home which was indeed a pleasure. Particularly since it was sunny in California after a week of rain, mist, and clouds in Odense and Paris. The good music I was listening to made everything even more likable.
Now out to a carved out time to walk in the fade sub of this Sunday afternoon.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Last Night - Odense - Denmark
I was impressed with Odense in this trip spending 3 nights here. It is a calm and green city. We walked from hospital back to hotel both today and yesterday which was a 30 minute walk. This got us an opportunity to observe the city and the people a bit more closely.
The city is humid, and naturally green. The buildings are mainly old but well maintained. There are many strange status and fountains around the city. People walk a lot, and bike a lot, even now which is winter time. There are special bike bath everywhere and there are many Christiana's Bikes around the city, some even carry their kids and baby's in the front cabin.
It seems like the handy crafts are still valuable here. I observed a sewing shop with many sewing machines and people working on them. And many many yard shops. Apparently people knit a lot here because they were all very crowded too. Also wood works and straw utensils abundant in the shops. Kids appear relax and I found groups of kids chatting or walking or even sitting in a cafe having a snack by themselves. No sign of paranoia as I am used to observe in kids in US.
People are not rushed. They walk and bike and leisurely go through the shops. I was impressed how the cafes were crowded, always parties of two or more, and all the time chatting! I observed many women groups. It was real fun to watch. In the restaurants and cafes waiters and waitresses are friendly but they do not smile. And they wont check on you unless you ask for it.
I did not see many foreign looking people I must say. Even though one of the neurosurgeons in the hospital is actually Persian. But not many black-haired people in the street I must say.
All in all, after a work assignment accomplished successfully and satisfactorily, I am happy with the city and ready to leave for Paris tomorrow.
.
The city is humid, and naturally green. The buildings are mainly old but well maintained. There are many strange status and fountains around the city. People walk a lot, and bike a lot, even now which is winter time. There are special bike bath everywhere and there are many Christiana's Bikes around the city, some even carry their kids and baby's in the front cabin.
It seems like the handy crafts are still valuable here. I observed a sewing shop with many sewing machines and people working on them. And many many yard shops. Apparently people knit a lot here because they were all very crowded too. Also wood works and straw utensils abundant in the shops. Kids appear relax and I found groups of kids chatting or walking or even sitting in a cafe having a snack by themselves. No sign of paranoia as I am used to observe in kids in US.
People are not rushed. They walk and bike and leisurely go through the shops. I was impressed how the cafes were crowded, always parties of two or more, and all the time chatting! I observed many women groups. It was real fun to watch. In the restaurants and cafes waiters and waitresses are friendly but they do not smile. And they wont check on you unless you ask for it.
I did not see many foreign looking people I must say. Even though one of the neurosurgeons in the hospital is actually Persian. But not many black-haired people in the street I must say.
All in all, after a work assignment accomplished successfully and satisfactorily, I am happy with the city and ready to leave for Paris tomorrow.
.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
First Morning - Odense - Denmark
I turned off the lights at 12:45 AM and got up at 4 AM local time. Now, that is called a good night sleep!! Of course I am being sarcastic in case you were wondering.
I gave up hope at 6:45 and got up and worked some. It is 7:35 AM and the sky is pitch black!! I saw a couple school kids heading to school on foot. It should be hard waking up and heading out while it still feels like the middle of the night.
We are meeting with colleagues at 8:30 for breakfast so I made a cup of green tea to carry some more work. Talk to you later.
I gave up hope at 6:45 and got up and worked some. It is 7:35 AM and the sky is pitch black!! I saw a couple school kids heading to school on foot. It should be hard waking up and heading out while it still feels like the middle of the night.
We are meeting with colleagues at 8:30 for breakfast so I made a cup of green tea to carry some more work. Talk to you later.
A Business Trip to Denmark
Got upgraded from San Francisco to Frankfurt: My first First Class experience. Indeed more convenient!!
I have been traveling by care and plane and train for almost 22 hours now with very little time on the ground. When I stand up I feel like I am still moving actually. But finally I am in Odense, Denmark. We met with two other colleagues for a quick and rather bland dinner at a cafe 30 feet from the hotel. There is mist in the air which is a fine experience after many rains back home lately.
My body is really tired but my brain doesn't want to shut down. I had to work some too after dinner but thankfully it was a fruitful experience although made me even more alert.
I got to watch a movie and another half a movie in the first leg of my travel. I jot down some quick notes in the plane about them.
Hope Springs (2012)
Meryl Streep was as lovely as ever and had a nice performance and like always, reminded me of my dear G.K.
While watching, however, I found tears in my eyes. After 10 minutes into the movie I was asking myself why I was watching this. It was about an unhappy dull marriage of 31 years. The couple were used to routines of a bland life and even had separated bedrooms. They were essentially sharing a house but not a life. But the lady, the old woman in the movie, she wanted a "marriage"; she wanted to be kissed. She wanted to make love and feel wanted. She loved her husband but all that dullness had made her wonder about the vows.
She wanted a new marriage. She decided to give it a last shot and enrolled in "an intense marriage counseling" in a remote town in Main that cost her $4000 of her savings.
I have been traveling by care and plane and train for almost 22 hours now with very little time on the ground. When I stand up I feel like I am still moving actually. But finally I am in Odense, Denmark. We met with two other colleagues for a quick and rather bland dinner at a cafe 30 feet from the hotel. There is mist in the air which is a fine experience after many rains back home lately.
My body is really tired but my brain doesn't want to shut down. I had to work some too after dinner but thankfully it was a fruitful experience although made me even more alert.
I got to watch a movie and another half a movie in the first leg of my travel. I jot down some quick notes in the plane about them.
Hope Springs (2012)
Meryl Streep was as lovely as ever and had a nice performance and like always, reminded me of my dear G.K.
While watching, however, I found tears in my eyes. After 10 minutes into the movie I was asking myself why I was watching this. It was about an unhappy dull marriage of 31 years. The couple were used to routines of a bland life and even had separated bedrooms. They were essentially sharing a house but not a life. But the lady, the old woman in the movie, she wanted a "marriage"; she wanted to be kissed. She wanted to make love and feel wanted. She loved her husband but all that dullness had made her wonder about the vows.
She wanted a new marriage. She decided to give it a last shot and enrolled in "an intense marriage counseling" in a remote town in Main that cost her $4000 of her savings.
At one session in the counseling when she was not accompanied by her husband she said she was lonely but she was not sure if she would feel the same if she was alone.
Granted, at one odd moment towards the end of the movie among the wife's disappointments the husband realized how he was losing her, finally! And things got happy again.
Again. They were happy at first it seemed. They wanted each other. But they had lost it in the process.
That is the odd irony that made me cry I guess.
Didn't get to watch it through and now it feels like a lingering thought thinking about it.
A 35 year old guy living a dull life in New York is summoned back to his alpha mater college in Ohio to the retirement party of his favorite prof. It was funny how the movie "showed" his feeling about being back to a place he used to dream anything was possible as a college boy. A college girl he meets is talkative and spontaneous. She is talking about a class she took last year "that changed her life". Yeah! I remember those days. Those that lives could be changed; those days bloated with possibilities.
All the ideas in the young minds. All the idealism.
I miss that!
Not that my college years at IUT were anywhere close to the liberty of this college in Ohio. Far from it on the outside. Note also that I was studying engineering and these are liberal arts students with art and novels and music. Yet, we had lots of fresh ideas too, and sky was the limit when I was in college as well. We had books that changed our lives and music that motivated us to be creative.
Music indeed changes ones perspective of the same thing.
There was Phantom ad on a bus in one scene in New York. And the dude found the he loved opera.
To be continued after/if I watched the whole movie.
And the bell rang 12 times. I better try to get some shut eyes even if not shut brain. Godnat as they would say in Denmark.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Las Vegas
After 12 years I came back here on vacation even though work has brought me here a few times in between which does not count. I think in A's eyes this should look like a Nickle City or Chuck-e-Cheeses but for grown ups.
I truly do not enjoy gambling. Haven't stopped at one station yet.
Today we walked, and walked, and walked almost the whole day. I hope I have shed some extra pounds (beyond what is needed for the baby) today.
What is really nice about this trip though is how family is with us. It is great from all angles. Many partners to chat with, many occasions to laugh, and several people to watch A at any time. He seems really relax and happy. I am so happy for him.
What is the nagging thought ruining my so called "vacation" is "work". I woke up thinking about it and am going to bed after working several hours non stop on it. Everyone tells me to relax and enjoy but I can do neither although I try to at least enjoy the memory of it all.
I truly do not enjoy gambling. Haven't stopped at one station yet.
Today we walked, and walked, and walked almost the whole day. I hope I have shed some extra pounds (beyond what is needed for the baby) today.
What is really nice about this trip though is how family is with us. It is great from all angles. Many partners to chat with, many occasions to laugh, and several people to watch A at any time. He seems really relax and happy. I am so happy for him.
What is the nagging thought ruining my so called "vacation" is "work". I woke up thinking about it and am going to bed after working several hours non stop on it. Everyone tells me to relax and enjoy but I can do neither although I try to at least enjoy the memory of it all.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Change of Plans
I was hoping to make a short trip to Lake Tahoe to ski or hike or relax or work some, based on the moods. But most of the people preferred to go to Las Vegas instead. Longer drive now and less variety of activities. It's hard for me to imagine working there but I have to.
Now, if we were in Tahoe, I suppose most people would go skiing and a couple would go to a casino. I, however, cannot ski right now, both because of a stiff shoulder lately and, mmm, because I'm expecting :) So, I would take my book and laptop and would sit by a fireplace in a local coffee shop. I'd get me a cup of hot cocoa and work a few hours. Then I'd get a sandwich and a cup of tea and read my book until the family comes back. Perhaps even if I have time will take a stroll around the block and look at the local shops for a small souvenir. That's at least what I like to think about right now.
PS: for the few hours I slept so far I was dreaming about A and his presents. Merry Christmas!
Now, if we were in Tahoe, I suppose most people would go skiing and a couple would go to a casino. I, however, cannot ski right now, both because of a stiff shoulder lately and, mmm, because I'm expecting :) So, I would take my book and laptop and would sit by a fireplace in a local coffee shop. I'd get me a cup of hot cocoa and work a few hours. Then I'd get a sandwich and a cup of tea and read my book until the family comes back. Perhaps even if I have time will take a stroll around the block and look at the local shops for a small souvenir. That's at least what I like to think about right now.
PS: for the few hours I slept so far I was dreaming about A and his presents. Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas Eve and A
This is a unique Christmas eve at our house. For the first time in A's life we are actually home. Add to that the fact that my dad and stepmom are here and my siste S and brother-inlay are arriving from Canada in an hour enshala. On top of this all we have a Christmas tree and lots of presents.
I have tried imagining A a few times waking up to,or row and opening all the presents that are his. He was worried that someone would stay up past midnight tonight and Santa doesnt show up. We assured him before putting him to bed that we will make sure all is quiet at home by midnight.
I am glad he can imagin all the magic. I think this will help him undesrtand later on that not all he sees is real and not all he cannot see is unreal. It's essentially a philosophical teaching in addition to developing his imagination.
Merry Christmas to all who believe and all that can imagine!
I have tried imagining A a few times waking up to,or row and opening all the presents that are his. He was worried that someone would stay up past midnight tonight and Santa doesnt show up. We assured him before putting him to bed that we will make sure all is quiet at home by midnight.
I am glad he can imagin all the magic. I think this will help him undesrtand later on that not all he sees is real and not all he cannot see is unreal. It's essentially a philosophical teaching in addition to developing his imagination.
Merry Christmas to all who believe and all that can imagine!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
The Story of Two Books
A chilly autumnal afternoon, a sweetened cup of tea, a pair of slippers, a blanket, and two books. And such a contrast!
I am reading Shirin and Khosrow's story from Nezami's book of poems, of course in Farsi. The story goes back centuries and this version is from about 800 years ago. Nezami starts the book with praising God and thanking him for giving him the talent to write. The he talks about love. Oh! Such an amazingly lovely depiction of love. Finally after praising the prophet and the king and all he starts the story of Khosrow. Such mystery! Such beauty! Such elegance in his words! What is the most apparent to me this time (every time I read a book I find a new appearance) is its simple purity and its pure simplicity. How fortunate I feel to be able to read and comprehend Farsi for such treasures in our literature!
I am reading Picture if Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, from 1890. I must say, I am enjoying the writing. And I am most curious to know where it all ends. The emphasis by Lord Henry Wotton on beauty and fulfillment of senses is interesting to me. And the helplessness in Dorian admitting to impermanence of beauty.
In both books there are much depictions of the apparent beauties: faces, hair, bodies.
Both books refer to lust, a lot.
Yet, the former book has a sense of love in it the latter lacks. Hence, it feels more moral, more humane even perhaps.
No conclusion yet though, as I am still in the middle of both books. Perhaps, to be continued.
I am reading Shirin and Khosrow's story from Nezami's book of poems, of course in Farsi. The story goes back centuries and this version is from about 800 years ago. Nezami starts the book with praising God and thanking him for giving him the talent to write. The he talks about love. Oh! Such an amazingly lovely depiction of love. Finally after praising the prophet and the king and all he starts the story of Khosrow. Such mystery! Such beauty! Such elegance in his words! What is the most apparent to me this time (every time I read a book I find a new appearance) is its simple purity and its pure simplicity. How fortunate I feel to be able to read and comprehend Farsi for such treasures in our literature!
I am reading Picture if Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, from 1890. I must say, I am enjoying the writing. And I am most curious to know where it all ends. The emphasis by Lord Henry Wotton on beauty and fulfillment of senses is interesting to me. And the helplessness in Dorian admitting to impermanence of beauty.
In both books there are much depictions of the apparent beauties: faces, hair, bodies.
Both books refer to lust, a lot.
Yet, the former book has a sense of love in it the latter lacks. Hence, it feels more moral, more humane even perhaps.
No conclusion yet though, as I am still in the middle of both books. Perhaps, to be continued.
Old Old Songs
Old old songs are those that in my parent's collections were called "old songs". Just for the sake of it!
Darvish, Golpa
Darvish, Golpa
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I Am Duality
A grounded, vast, stable soul; the Sahara
A constantly moving, boundless, carefree open-hearted nomad; the midnight breeze
A chosen one able to hear God; the Saint
An explorer, delving in this alluring life; the Child
A calm, observing, kind, humble, giving person; the Heavens
A self centered, proud, ambitious type; the Mountain
A wise, enlightened soul, transforming fire to a flower garden; the Ebrahim
A desirous body, burning the frozen hearts; the Saba
A seeker of the unknown, a visionary by heart; the Soul
A seeker of the unknown, all the senses arouse; the Self
Monday, October 29, 2012
The Career Destiny
My dear R.N. says always that "your career has a destiny". This is a phrase to pause on for me. What she means is how the advancement in career does not need our struggle, it happens, after we put some energy and thought into it of course.
It is hard sometimes to think that things have their own destiny. Life happens. Death happens. Love happens. Separation happens. And most likely, we had hardly anything to do with them..
Now, career happens too. It has its own course, and it happens.
It is hard sometimes to think that things have their own destiny. Life happens. Death happens. Love happens. Separation happens. And most likely, we had hardly anything to do with them..
Now, career happens too. It has its own course, and it happens.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
To Accept The Hardships of This Era
"Verily, with every hardship comes ease!" 94:6
I have been contemplating on the nemesis of the time. From the clashes of theories and beliefs to the lies in politics close to home to the straight bullets shot in the head of a fourteen year old to the monetary value of the currency back in the mother land, to the constant unhealthy interference in our food and our drinks and our land. It feels depressing, pathetic, and hopeless at times.
Yet, it is not the only worst time. Is it?
They say there have been kings who killed all the men in a village. They tell us about wars that swiped a whole civilization. There have been dynasties coming and going. And the men of the world have never been all just, never been all true, never been all man-loving. There have been families burnt. There has been drought. There has been volcano erupting and destroying a whole city at once.
What makes this time any different?
I keep reciting this poem of Hafiz:
The world and what is in it are all unrully
A thousand times I have experienced it
Yet. Beauty is.
It is falls. The weather is changing visibly. Shorter daylight, stronger winds, dried leaves. I was standing at the backyard walkout yesterday, listening to the birds chirping. The grass is still green.
I stopped at the school, and "the queen of the class" came to me and said she remembered me from my last year's presentation in the class.
I talked to my mom and she was full of hope.
I picked up A and he gave me a big hug.
I talked to a dear friend about a work situation that made me feel vulnerable and he cared to listen.
We had a delicious dinner at friends' and enjoyed listening to their parents talking about samanu pazoon and noon berenji.
"Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune." Socrates
I have been contemplating on the nemesis of the time. From the clashes of theories and beliefs to the lies in politics close to home to the straight bullets shot in the head of a fourteen year old to the monetary value of the currency back in the mother land, to the constant unhealthy interference in our food and our drinks and our land. It feels depressing, pathetic, and hopeless at times.
Yet, it is not the only worst time. Is it?
They say there have been kings who killed all the men in a village. They tell us about wars that swiped a whole civilization. There have been dynasties coming and going. And the men of the world have never been all just, never been all true, never been all man-loving. There have been families burnt. There has been drought. There has been volcano erupting and destroying a whole city at once.
What makes this time any different?
I keep reciting this poem of Hafiz:
جهان و کار جهان جمله هیچ در هیچ است
هزار بار من این نکته کرده ام تØقیق
The world and what is in it are all unrully
A thousand times I have experienced it
Yet. Beauty is.
It is falls. The weather is changing visibly. Shorter daylight, stronger winds, dried leaves. I was standing at the backyard walkout yesterday, listening to the birds chirping. The grass is still green.
I stopped at the school, and "the queen of the class" came to me and said she remembered me from my last year's presentation in the class.
I talked to my mom and she was full of hope.
I picked up A and he gave me a big hug.
I talked to a dear friend about a work situation that made me feel vulnerable and he cared to listen.
We had a delicious dinner at friends' and enjoyed listening to their parents talking about samanu pazoon and noon berenji.
"Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune." Socrates
Monday, October 8, 2012
Pure Blessed Love
When you see the eyes you want to look at them. The shape of the eyelashes, the length, the color, the pattern. You look at the eyebrows and touch them, course or neat. Your fingers in the hair. The smell of the skull. You trace the nose with your watch wanting to touch. The lips, you want to be kissed; trace to the jawbone, then the soft skin below the ear, tracing down the neck. One kiss. The fragrance of the body. The touch on the shoulders to the back to the side to the thigh to the back of the knee to the toes... When you feel the vibes from the skies; it is then that you know that the love is real, pure, blessed.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Pause
Laying down sleepless for hours. Freed myself from the nightmare of repeated mistakes to wake up to the reality: repeated mistakes?
What is happening? Why? What went wrong? How to make it right? What is right?
War?
I remember the calm. I remember the running water in the city's beautiful river. I remember the kindness in the eyes of the men and the women. I remember the compassionate people. I remember the support.
I cannot imagine what it is like today.
Alas.
What is happening? Why? What went wrong? How to make it right? What is right?
War?
I remember the calm. I remember the running water in the city's beautiful river. I remember the kindness in the eyes of the men and the women. I remember the compassionate people. I remember the support.
I cannot imagine what it is like today.
Alas.
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About Me
- midnight/...
- An emigrant from an ancient civilization to North America, an engineer in marketing and management, a mom of working kind, who thinks when she talks, and who likes to write. I, L.B., own the copyright to the content.