فراق آرمان

آرمان قشنگم رفته مهد کودک. چهار تا بچه هم سن و سال خودش هم هستند که باهاشون بازی کنه و ازشون چیز یاد بگیره. راستش احساس گناه نمیکنم. آخه همه بهم اخطار داده بودند در این زمینه. ولی به طرز خفه کننده ای دلم براش تنگ میشه. اونقدر تنگ که نفسم به سختی بالا میاد.

براش خوشحالم چون میدونم بازی با بچه ها رو دوست داره.

براش ناراحتم چون انتخاب خودش نبوده که بره مهد، من و بابایی این تصمیم رو براش گرفتیم.

براش خوشحالم چون دیگه از صبح تا شب فقط با من نیست.

براش ناراحتم چون از صبح تا عصر من رو نمیبینه و دلش برام تنگ میشه.

براش خوشحالم چون کم کم یک زبان دیگر هم یاد میگیره و زبان یک سرمایه است.

براش خوشحالم چون دیگه حوصله اش سر نمیره.

براش خوشحالم چون عاشقه نظم هستش و اونجا برنامه منظمی دارند.

براش خوشحالم چون همبازیهاش بچه های مودب و مهربونی هستند.

و این دل بیقرار من میخواد تنها به مثبتهای قضیه فکر کنه. بیصبرانه منتظرم تا چند ساعت دیگه در آغوش بکشمش.

مثبت بودن یا نبودن

« هر کس که در اين سرا درآيد نانش دهيد و از ايمانش مپرسيد. چه آنکس که بدرگاه باري تعالي به جان ارزد، البته بر خوان بوالحسن به نان ارزد»

دنیای قشنگی داریم!

شنیدم که در ژاپن روی اشکال مختلف مولکولهای آب تحقیق کرده اند. بدین ترتیب که با آب حرف زده اند مثلا دعا خوانده اند و شکل مولکولها منظم و زیبا شده و یا حرف نا خوب زده اند و عکس این نتیجه بدست آمده.

شب آخری که تهران بودم باز یکی این قصه رو نقل کرد و من داشتم فکر میکردم که خیلیها دارند حرف نا خوب میزنند. حرف جنگ و وحشت و آدمکشی و بی ایمانی و فقر و فحشا و ... . شاید مشکل همینجاست. همه اطراف و درون ما رو آب احاطه کرده و ما حرفهامون و تصوراتمون و افکارمون نا خوب اگر باشه فقط تصور کنید چه شکلی به این میلیونها میلیون مولکول اطراف خودمون تزریق کردیم! حالا اگر حرف از دوستی و عشق و دیدار و مهربونی و دیگر دوستی باشه، اگر عاشق عالم باشیم، اگر عاشق بشریت باشیم، فکر میکنم اوضاعمون خیلی بهتر از اینها باشه.

به جهان خرم از آنم که جهان خرم از اوست

عاشقم بر همه عالم که همه عالم از اوست

ره و رسم سفر

بازیک سفر دیگر رو به اتمام است. اصلا دلم نمیخواهد به خداحافظی فکر کنم. از این رسم سفر بیزارم...

آلمان

سفر بسیار حالبی بود. دیدار شبنم و گلی و بهاره و دایی جان منوچهر از دستاوردهای مهم این سفر بود. رانندگی در حاشیه راین و بودن در شهرهای کوچک و توریستی آن سرزمین تجربه بسیار جالبی بود. مسلما بیان تمام خاطرات و برداشتهایم از این سفر در یک پست نمیگنجد. تیتروار بگویم که از آلمان بسیار خوشم آمد. آنقدر که شنیده بودم ناسیونالیست هستند و اصلا تحویل نمیگیرند نبود بلکه یکجاهایی یکسری از برخوردها حتی خاطرات بسیار مثبتی برایمان به جای گذاشتند. دیدن قلعه های قرون وسطایی برایم خیلی جالب بود. مسلما با قلعه های ایران باستان و شرق دور خیلی متفاوت بودند. اگر یک صفت قلعه ای که دیدم را بخواهم بازگو کنم مخوف بودنش بود. دیدن مزارع و جنگلها و تصور جنگ جهانی دوم و فراریهایی که در هر کوشه ای پناه میگرفتند از دیگر نکاتی بود که جلب توجه میکرد. رانندگیشان عالی بود به نظر من و ماشینهای کوچکشان برای کسی که از کالیفرنیا آمده بود واقعا جاذبه ای محسوب میشد.

به هر حال همچنان بسیار سفر باید تا پخته شود خامی. هنوز هم نکاتی هست که یاد میگیریم برای استفاده در سفر زندگی. نا گفته نماند که آرمان بسیار همسفر خوبی بود.

here and there

Thanks God, we are on our way towards meeting friends and family enshaalaa. I am not sure if I would be able to update my blog while on the tour. Will try to bring you some souvenirs though :)

Arman's "Play and music" class is over. Every body was sad to learn that we wouldn't come back when I told them yesterday. It was a very good experience for us. He has learned some new skills, found that not all the toys are always his as he is used to at home, and memorized a series of actions happening in the class and expecting the next (which was really amazing to myself!). I was happy to be among other moms and dads. And the long naps Arman used to take after the classes were really sweet ;)

We found Arman a very nice home day care (enshaalaa every thing goes as well as we presumed). That is a relief. I hope he enjoys his time there. I am planning to start him for an hour or two for the first day and then gradually raise the duration hours until reaching 6 hours which is the ultimate goal.

For now let's enjoy the calm before the storm!

هرچه از دوست رسد نیکوست!

I have a very dear friend since the high school years. She is not only smart and wise and creative, but smartly and wisely and creatively funny. Being fun is her nature; i.e. you never receive any e-mail or mail or phone call from her unless there is some thing funny in its nature. It is nice to have such person to the rescue of rainy days!
I was thinking bout her today and how I had a few unread e-mails from her and yet I was sure there were something silly and fun in them. So I downloaded and saved and read all the attachments in her e-mails and here I am, a bit relieved and a bit happier by the golden remedy of laughter, after a very long and stressful week. I hope the worst has gone already, but if tomorrow the problem still exists I might just not care!
There was another pair of ears today for me too, the ones who patiently listened to all my really hopeless words. Thanks MRB!

Organic

Once upon a time every thing was naturally organic, thanks to the chemical free land.
Then there was a huge interest in chemicals and genetically modified plants and animals. Research on agricultures and funding for genetic studies flooded the universities and research centers. Tones of genetically modified produce came to the market. The land filled with chemicals with the name of pesticides.
Now there is a new interest to make every thing organic, again. Ironically though, we need to perform tones of research to get back to the starting point!

Farsi

We have repeatedly encountered families with English as the second language of the parents but ironically the "mother" tongue for their kids. Apparently it is very hard to get your kids to speak your first language when they are attending school where the dominant language is not what the parents speak. I hear that it is even harder with the second kid.
As I have mentioned earlier it is my dream if Arman not only speaks Farsi but loves Farsi!
My cousins who were raised in US are speaking Farsi quite fluently. They prefer to speak English of course. Yet they can even read in Farsi. But how, you might ask. I need to delve into my aunt and uncle's parenting strategies myself. One thing I know is when my cousins were young they were encouraged to memorize Persian poems, Parvin Etesami and Hafez, and then recite them and receive a prize. Just imagine memorizing Parvin in Princeton, NJ! A job well done and the outcome is really fascinating! Now try to read this, or even better memorize it:

بلبلی شیفته میگفت به گل
که: جمال تو چراغ چمن است
گفت: امروز که زیبا و خوشم
رخ من شاهد هر انجمن است
چون که فردا شد و پژمرده شدم
کیست آنکس که هوا خواه من است؟
به تن، این پیرهن دلکش من
چو گه شام بیایی، کفن است
حرف امروز چه گویی؟ فرداست
که تو را بر گل دیگر وطن است
همه جا بوی خوش و روی نکوست
همه جا سرو و گل و یاسمن است
عشق آن است که در دل گنجد
سخن است آنکه همی بر دهن است
بهر معشوقه بمیرد عاشق
کارباید، سخن است این، سخن است
می شناسیم حقیقت ز مجاز
چون تو بسیار در این نارون است
پروین اعتصامی

this week

We are going to go to Europe enshaalaa. This is really exciting! Moreover, we are going to meet friends and family there which is even more exciting. I was determined that I was going to visit my friends in Europe this summer, and here we go.This proves how we can persevere to meet each other.
There are a lot to be done before we leave though. Managing the stops and hotels and car rentals, reviewing the traveling books and maps, listings and shoppings, ... these are all required. Moreover, we proudly have a toddler tourist among us and we should foresee his needs and also reduce our expectation from this adventure intensely. To add to the complexity of this coming week for me, I need to take the necessary steps for going back to work, this time as a working mom: taking care of Arman's day care, his transportation management, my working wardrobe, and some necessary studies and reviews.
I am sure it is going to be a nice vacation before my start date at work; the calm before the storm!

تبریک

عید شما مبارک!
روز پدر مبارک! مخصوصا برای بابام و بابای آرمان!

استاد شهریار:
علی ای همای رحمت تو چه آیتی خدا را
که به ماسوا فکندی همه سایه‌ی هما را

دل اگر خداشناسی همه در رخ علی بین
به علی شناختم من به خدا قسم خدا را

به خدا که در دو عالم اثر از فنا نماند
چو علی گرفته باشد سر چشمه‌ی بقا را

مگر ای سحاب رحمت تو بباری ارنه دوزخ
به شرار قهر سوزد همه جان ماسوا را

برو ای گدای مسکین در خانه‌ی علی زن
که نگین پادشاهی دهد از کرم گدا را

بجز از علی که گوید به پسر که قاتل من
چو اسیر تست اکنون به اسیر کن مدارا

بجز از علی که آرد پسری ابوالعجائب
که علم کند به عالم شهدای کربلا را

چو به دوست عهد بندد ز میان پاکبازان
چو علی که میتواند که بسر برد وفا را

نه خدا توانمش خواند نه بشر توانمش گفت
متحیرم چه نامم شه ملک لافتی را

بدو چشم خون فشانم هله ای نسیم رحمت
که ز کوی او غباری به من آر توتیا را

به امید آن که شاید برسد به خاک پایت
چه پیامها سپردم همه سوز دل صبا را

چو تویی قضای گردان به دعای مستمندان
که ز جان ما بگردان ره آفت قضا را

چه زنم چونای هردم ز نوای شوق او دم
که لسان غیب خوشتر بنوازد این نوا را

«همه شب در این امیدم که نسیم صبحگاهی
به پیام آشنائی بنوازد آشنا را»

ز نوای مرغ یا حق بشنو که در دل شب
غم دل به دوست گفتن چه خوشست شهریارا

the new era

I got an offer from a very reputable medical device company.
The me side of me is very excited and happy; the mom side of me, however, is wary and hesitant. This is going to be a new era for me, and for us. I am going to become more independent from Arman and vice versa.
I am going to resume my professional life, and grow mentally and professionally. At the same time I am going to miss Arman like crazy.
Arman is going to meet other children every day, play with them, eat with them, babble words with them, and learn with them. He might miss me for a while. Eventually though he will grow out of it, I am sure. He will start to find this as a new routine in his life.
I, however, am never gonna grow out of missing him. That is only my feeling and I have no proof for that but I am confident.
This is the worst thing about being a mom so far: having to leave my baby with another person.

blog address

Apparently there has been a change in the persianblog address and that is how I was unable to write in my blog or visit it. Here is the new address:
http://nimshab.persianblog.ir
Well, I guess I am staying here for now.

rediscovering yoga

I have become a fan of 10 minutes workouts, it is amazingly fast and efficient for the person I have become: no time for gym and no chance for swimming. Despite all these there was something missing.
It was a while since last I had practiced yoga and I was some how deep down longing for it. Today I rediscovered its power on me.
I had a very bad night (being a mom and still nursing and having another interview early in the morning) and had no chance to catch up with my sleeps during the day. At 6 pm I had a very bad headache despite all the water I had had. And water usually cures my headache but not this time. So I decided it was lack of O2 rather than H2O and concluded on practicing some yoga to treat myself. It was a miracle!It is 10:40 pm, no sleep yet but no headache either!

ps- I have not really decided if I am going to write in English from now on. I am writing in English for now though.

new home, the history

Well, here I am again! I have created this blog long ago, never used it until Arman was born. Posted a few pictures of him and then decided not to continue for some reason. Now here is the new Nimshab. Mainly because I can no longer post to my Persianblog address.
I am hesitant to use this new address by blogger though. Don't you think it is really weird that there is no Farsi/Persian option in the language selection? I know too many people blogging in Farsi and using blogger and yet there is no Farsi font availble? I might decide to fully migrate to this address afterwards, we will see.